Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Horses vs. Fugazi

As many of you know, I am a fan of horses. While they are not my favorite animal (that title remains with the mammoth), horses are still unarguably great. So I thought, why not put them up up against something else unarguably Fugazi. So, for the first Tranquil Mammoth Challenge of 2009, I've pitted beast against band. Let's see who comes out on top.

Date of OriginHorses were probably first domesticated between 4,500 and 2,500 BC.Fugazi's lineup solidified in late 1987.
Place of OriginEarthWashington DC, Earth
EvolutionDNA evidence shows modern horses are descended from not one but several wild populations.After Minor Threat broke up, Ian MacKaye played in several groups before starting a new band with Colin Sears and Joe Lally. Sears was soon replaced by Brendan Canty. Guy Picciotto, who had been in Rites of Spring with Canty, joined as a second vocalist after his band, Happy Go Licky broke up. Picciotto began playing second guitar before their first album, Repeater was recorded in 1989.
Selected DiscographyDespite thousands of albums with 'horse' in the title or band name, no horses have ever recorded any music on their own.EPs
7 Songs (1988)
Margin Walker (1989)
13 Songs (complilation of the two EPs above) (1989)
Repeater (1990)
Steady Diet of Nothing (1991)
In on the Kill Taker (1993)
Red Medicine (1995)
End Hits (1998)
Instrument Soundtrack (1999)
The Argument (2001)
Propensity for violenceStallions will often challenge and fight other stallions, often if a mare is present.Fugazi discourages violence and violent dancing at their shows.
QuantityExperts estimate that there are more than 75,000,000 horses in existence.There is only one Fugazi.
StrengthHorses are very strong. I personally estimate their strength to be roughly 1 hp (horsepower) or 33,000 ft·lbf/min.Trouser Press describes Fugazi as "a knuckle sandwich made with nine-grain bread, building strong minds and bodies with rattling guitar power."
HeightMeasured in hands: This horse is 15 hands high!Measured in inches: This Fugazi record is a 12"!
Live PerformanceHorses star in horse racing, dressage, eventing, show jumping, and rodeo as well as films and tv shows. Their performances range from utilitarian to beautifully graceful to exhilarating.Fugazi concerts are exciting, engaging and memorable.
MerchandiseMany products are derived (extorted) from horses, including meat, milk, hide, hair, bone, and pharmaceuticals extracted from the urine of pregnant mares."Merchandise keeps us in line
Common sense says it's by design
What could a businessman ever want more
than to have us sucking in his store"
SpeedThe average horse gallop is 25 to 30 miles (40 to 48 km) per hour.Some Fugazi songs exceed 200 beats per minute, although their average song tempo is much slower.
FoodHorses are herbivores.Fugazi's members are all reportedly vegan/vegetarian.
WaterYou can theoretically lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."One drink of water and I'm drowning"
Meaning of NameI'm pretty sure it stands for 'Hold On, Ride Solid, Equus', although I may have just made this up.From Mark Baker's Nam, a compilation of stories of Vietnam War veterans, where it used as a backronym for 'Fucked Up, Got Ambushed, Zipped In'.
Current StatusHorses are currently everywhere, eating.Fugazi is currently on an indefinite hiatus.

It looks like the first Tranquil Mammoth Challenge of 2009 has resulted in a tie, and I'm not surprised. Both Horses and Fugazi have proven themselves to be truly great. Send me some suggestions for the next Tranquil Mammoth Challenge of 2009.


Anonymous said...

I say pit Prince against elephants. Yeah, that sounds good.

celinox said...

flying dragons vs. overweight babies

You must be thrilled about the attempts to clone a wooly mammoth that they found....somewhere.

Anonymous said...

Koalas v.s. Clint Eastwood.

Amanda said...

Hunter Revenge vs. mammoths

Zee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
girlisgrey said...

This is pretty amazing. Only you Hunter, only you ;)

TLK KNS said...

LOL Hunter that was very original and educational.

Katie said...

Ok that was hella legit.

I suggest the Despair Faction vs the Others from LOST.

hmmm..that could be interesting.
or Hilary Clinton vs Tom from Myspace??

Or maybe my favorite animal (polar bears) vs your favorite animal (mammoths) ...though i think polar bears are the clear winners on that one...obviously... :0

Yaz! said...

I say Femputer (from the Futurama episode "Amazon Women in the Mood", voiced by Bea Arthur) versus Rosie from The Jetsons.


Marill (Pokemon #183) versus Meryl Streep


Paolo Nutini versus Barilla Piccolini

Anonymous said...

That had me on the edge of my seat.
I really thought horses would take the win!

I'd pit The Fonz against James Dean, as I often have. Via Google Battle.

Jay said...

First Jade declaring it Jawbreaker Day, now this? I love you guys.

Anonymous said...

My Mums pony bit one of her fingers today while she was worming it. Needed stitches. The finger should survive.

Knives v's Spoons

Unknown said...

I challenge you to make a rap somehow including candy canes, trees and the backstreet boys.

Anonymous said...

marilyn manson vs puppies!

i used to go horseriding when i was younger :)
so i likes horses too!

Ireland used to have mammoths! there's a fun fact for you!

we also once had hyenas believe it or not! no joke! :)

Unknown said...

bush vs dogs!

Anonymous said...

I never read that much about horses. I didn't know Fugazi before this, either.

How about
Red trousers - The Subways?

Christy said...

Despite your challenge, I still prefer Fugazi to horses.

Frisbees vs. Bikini Kill


Cats vs. AFI (that would be a close one, I think)

Esmé Glass said...

You vs. Me

Not a fair fight. I'd own your ass. Proof? My word verification is "mottest".

impure0purest said...

I've got a great one!

The Hunter, versus, the "Stay Fresh" Eliot.

Karlye said...

Well, me being such a big fan of horses, I say that horses can kick anyone's butt any day. But I am glad this challenge resulted in a tie.

Maybe you could do The Beatles vs. The Grand Canyon? Or some other combination involving the Beatles or the Grand Canyon? I don't know.

GabyBoop said...

I suggest Chuck Norris v.s squids

Anonymous said...


I think Tegan vs Sara maybe?

skenasis said...

Your blogs never cease to make me laugh. If I had a decent idea for another challenge, I'd add it here, but unfortunately I don't. Oh well. Having some idea of what would be coming would spoil the surprise anyway.

Anonymous said...

Bea Arthur vs. Honeybees

Jackie Chan vs. Jet Lee

Sprite vs. 7up

Coke vs. Pepsi

Paris Hilton vs. Perez Hilton

Thursday (the band) vs. Thursday (the day)

Yeah. That's all I got. And my word verification is rorephol. Is that seriously a word? I'm going to go find out, and if it isn't, the word verifimicalmation machine can't spell.

The Void Remains said...

Sebastian Bach (Skid Row, not the original) vs. a hamburger

Cindy said...

Look at 'point' in the header row.

Anonymous said...

Next battle should be Asking For It vs A Fire Inside.

Anonymous said...

it took me a really long time to figure out what that black bowtie was, i am out of it.

Unknown said...

I still want to know what's happening with that.
Yes, I am aware that isn't the actual name of the project. Update pleaseeeee?

Buzz Royale said...

next battle should be

Hunter with Hair vs. Hunter without Hair

PAU said...

tigers vs tiger army

lezah said...

You are awesome. I don't know how many times I've said that.

Tofu vs Pasta.

Cecilia said...

In light of his recent Newbery medal:

Neil Gaiman vs. Morpheus

brenna! said...

Chuck Norris vs. kittens, Jesus vs. Japan, Socks vs. e-mail, Anacondas vs. purple, any combination of those, etc. etc.

sadclowndisease said...

Have you heard the song 'Mammoth' by Interpol?

Its very good.

Rock on

Anonymous said...

dischord vs touch and go...