Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Thoughts on Adrenaline

Psychedelic Road Trip
You're driving along a coastal highway. An eighteen wheeler slams into you, pushing you into the guardrail just inches from an ocean cliff.

You are alone in the woods. A bear appears out of nowhere and belches a hungry growl just inches from your face.

You are caught in a tornado. Your house is pulled off its foundation and thrust into a colorful fantasy land, crushing a local witch.

Adrenaline pumps into your veins and yells, 
"Lift the house off of that witch!"

Witch legs are these?
Logic would tell you that lifting a house is impossible for a single human being with regular-human strength, but your ears are deaf to logic! You lift the house off the witch! You punch the bear in the face! You jump out the sunroof just before your car plummets to its watery grave.

(AKA Epinephrine)

Nature has a way of giving terrifying situations a run for their money, and it's a definite performance enhancer. Even professional athletes are finding new ways to harness this phenomenon for their own gains. Just before a match, star athletes typically watch a scary film in the locker room. They watch The Exorcist then they go out and win big! Now you know why there are movie screens in all locker rooms! Does your local gym have one? If not, you can write a letter to your local congressman, congresswoman or congressperson. Here's how!

P.S. Punching a bear's face might hurt your hand after the adrenaline rush has worn off. I'm icing my hand right now to reduce swelling.

That is all.

Next time I'll tell you about the time I went waterskiing with Botticelli's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandniece.

I also might decide to show you how to put snakes under your bed sheets to create the "snakes under the bed sheets" look that is so popular these days.