I eat your horse!

I know you probably think that I've completely neglected this blog, and in a way you are correct. The truth is, I've been writing a lot, but not on a computer. I've gone old school. Notebooks. I am working on something big, and I will tell you more about it later. For now, I hope you accept this picture as a peace offering. I know it's an old picture you may have seen before, but I still think it's funny.

P.S. I never blogged about the great loss we suffered. RIP Bea Arthur. Thank you for being a friend. Bea has been and will continue to be an important part of my blog.

Hunter Burgan Q&A part 3 (of 7)

I now present you with the third installment of my Q&A* vlogs. Has anyone noticed that they keep getting longer? Am I losing anyone here? I can always edit them down a bit. Let me know. I hope everyone is thoroughly entertained by these. Remember, these are your questions...I merely attempted to answer them. AFI is really hitting it hard in the studio right now, trying to get our record done, so you'll have to excuse my lack of writing/blogging. Just in case no one told you (although I doubt this is the case), you are invited and encouraged to follow me on Twitter. That's where I do the majority of my pointless, random, self-aggrandizing, laconic rambling.

Three things I want you to do:
1. As always, watch this video in High Quality. I shot and edited it in High Quality, so why would you want to see a different version of lesser quality? It just doesn't make sense.
2. Subscribe to my youtube channel. I might not always post every video on my blog or even tweet about it. If you want first dibs on watching my videos, subscribe.
3. Tell your friends about my youtube channel and of course, Tranquil Mammoth. The more people that read, watch, and enjoy what I do, the more I am incentivized to continue to do this stuff. I'm not sure why this is, but I'm sure it has to do with megalomania or egotism. Either way, we both win!

*Quips and Absurdities

Horses vs. Fugazi

As many of you know, I am a fan of horses. While they are not my favorite animal (that title remains with the mammoth), horses are still unarguably great. So I thought, why not put them up up against something else unarguably great...like Fugazi. So, for the first Tranquil Mammoth Challenge of 2009, I've pitted beast against band. Let's see who comes out on top.

	Horses	Fugazi	point
Date of Origin	Horses were probably first domesticated between 4,500 and 2,500 BC.	Fugazi's lineup solidified in late 1987.
Place of Origin	Earth	Washington DC, Earth
Evolution	DNA evidence shows modern horses are descended from not one but several wild populations.	After Minor Threat broke up, Ian MacKaye played in several groups before starting a new band with Colin Sears and Joe Lally. Sears was soon replaced by Brendan Canty. Guy Picciotto, who had been in Rites of Spring with Canty, joined as a second vocalist after his band, Happy Go Licky broke up. Picciotto began playing second guitar before their first album, Repeater was recorded in 1989.
Selected Discography	Despite thousands of albums with 'horse' in the title or band name, no horses have ever recorded any music on their own.	EPs 7 Songs (1988) Margin Walker (1989) LPs 13 Songs (complilation of the two EPs above) (1989) Repeater (1990) Steady Diet of Nothing (1991) In on the Kill Taker (1993) Red Medicine (1995) End Hits (1998) Instrument Soundtrack (1999) The Argument (2001)
Propensity for violence	Stallions will often challenge and fight other stallions, often if a mare is present.	Fugazi discourages violence and violent dancing at their shows.
Quantity	Experts estimate that there are more than 75,000,000 horses in existence.	There is only one Fugazi.
Strength	Horses are very strong. I personally estimate their strength to be roughly 1 hp (horsepower) or 33,000 ft·lbf/min.	Trouser Press describes Fugazi as "a knuckle sandwich made with nine-grain bread, building strong minds and bodies with rattling guitar power."
Height	Measured in hands: This horse is 15 hands high!	Measured in inches: This Fugazi record is a 12"!
Live Performance	Horses star in horse racing, dressage, eventing, show jumping, and rodeo as well as films and tv shows. Their performances range from utilitarian to beautifully graceful to exhilarating.	Fugazi concerts are exciting, engaging and memorable.
Merchandise	Many products are derived (extorted) from horses, including meat, milk, hide, hair, bone, and pharmaceuticals extracted from the urine of pregnant mares.	"Merchandise keeps us in line Common sense says it's by design What could a businessman ever want more than to have us sucking in his store"
Speed	The average horse gallop is 25 to 30 miles (40 to 48 km) per hour.	Some Fugazi songs exceed 200 beats per minute, although their average song tempo is much slower.
Food	Horses are herbivores.	Fugazi's members are all reportedly vegan/vegetarian.
Water	You can theoretically lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.	"One drink of water and I'm drowning"
Meaning of Name	I'm pretty sure it stands for 'Hold On, Ride Solid, Equus', although I may have just made this up.	From Mark Baker's Nam, a compilation of stories of Vietnam War veterans, where it used as a backronym for 'Fucked Up, Got Ambushed, Zipped In'.
Current Status	Horses are currently everywhere, eating.	Fugazi is currently on an indefinite hiatus.
Total	9	9

It looks like the first Tranquil Mammoth Challenge of 2009 has resulted in a tie, and I'm not surprised. Both Horses and Fugazi have proven themselves to be truly great. Send me some suggestions for the next Tranquil Mammoth Challenge of 2009.

The New Look & Feel

I think this picture is worth at least 1000 words. This is a shot of the sunrise through my window last week when I stayed up all night watching Begin Transmission videos. (Congrats to Natacia! I'll see you soon!)
Would you believe that this picture really does no justice to the breathtaking beauty of the sunrise that morning?

Also, take a look at the new look and feel of Tranquil Mammoth. What do you think? I decided that I needed to change it up for 2009. I always strive to be at the forefront of style and sophistication, so why should my blog be an exception?

Ok...this short blog has come to an end.

Horse Blog Vol. 1

After much (possibly too much) anticipation and hype, I now present to you Vol. 1 of my horse blog. Before we begin this horse adventure, I would like to share with you something that French Surrealist, André Breton once said,

"The man who can't visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot."

They say you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I think that's assuming a lot! First off, can we really assume the horse's gender without checking? I, for one, do not wish to be the person in charge of checking. Do you know what the statistics for non-fatal horse related injuries in the US are? I didn't either until I read this. So for the sake of this blog, let's just call the horse an "it."

They say you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I think that's still assuming a lot! I mean...can you? Can you lead a horse to water? Can you lead a horse at all? Can you even find a horse? I don't know about you, but where I live there aren't horses just hanging around waiting to be lead around. This saying must date back to a time when horses were just hanging around every corner. So, in order to rule out some of these variables and make this easier, let's just assume that you are lucky enough to find a horse who is already near water.

They say you can't make a horse drink. I believe it. That horse is spoiled. You could probably buy that horse some candy and flowers or maybe take it on a date to a really nice Italian restaurant and a jazz club afterwards or even fly that horse to Horse Island for a weekend getaway AND STILL the horse probably wouldn't drink, which brings me to the next question.

Why are you trying to get this horse to drink? Surely you aren't trying to take advantage of a horse that's been drinking, right? I'm sure the last thing you need right now, dear readers, is some type of legal mess that involves an under-aged horse. A jury is not going to be very sympathetic, especially after the cops find the dead horse's body in your trunk! I know what you're thinking, "But Hunter, what was I supposed to do with the body!?!"
There's no use in beating a dead horse. I'll agree with that one. Unless, well... Unless you're under the impression that you can beat a dead horse back to life. I looked online for the definitive site for horse CPR, but all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

"Hold your horses, Hunter!" you might be thinking right now, "Where are you going with all of this?" Well, dear readers, that's a very good question. Winston Churchill once said, "There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man." That makes me wonder what he thought of the inside of a horse. Churchill was smart enough to know that the inside of a horse is often filled with Greek soldiers. At least that's how it was back in the day.

If you lead a horse to water and it decides to drink, then what? If you are clever enough to convince the horse of its thirst, then my work is done here. The student has become the master. Good for you!
This draws us to the conclusion of the horse blog Vol. 1. Until the next volume, I will leave you with this quote from comedy pioneer, Stan Laurel.

"You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead."

One for the history books (or history blogs)

So...
The Force reunion mini-tour was a success! We kicked the whole thing off with a secret show in Sacramento in a coffee shop. The coffee was good. Next stop was our home turf in Nevada City. It was crazy seeing so many familiar faces at the shows. There were people there I hadn't seen since high school! The opening band was called Young Voices. Everyone should check them out. They reminded me of an old Dischord band. The next night we played at 924 Gilman St. which is where we played our very second show ever, back in 1995. A bunch of friends, old and new came out to this one as well. I know what you're thinking, and yes, my AFI bandmates came out to watch. The final night of our mini-tour was in Anaheim. We actually played at Chain Reaction when it used to be called Public Storage. That was the nineties. Our pal Carlton Beener took some photos like the one above. Click here to check out more photos from all the shows. Mad props (does anyone still say that?) to the crew from Pittsburgh who came out for all the shows. Like I said before, the shows were a success, but not just because we pulled it off (Chad hadn't played drums in over 6 years) or because we blew everyone's minds (which we certainly did) but because we were able to recreate the feeling of being ten years younger and playing crazy music with your friends. I don't mean to get overly sentimental, but for me the real success was reuniting old friends.

Now that The Force shows are over, we put all the leftover merchandise in our online store. Now people from all over the world that weren't able to attend the shows can pretend like they were there. I made this banner for the store. Maybe somebody would like to make a better one?? If that somebody is you, let me know. Thanks.
In the store, we have a few shirt designs, a sweatshirt, buttons, stickers, AND the 12" vinyl gatefold "Complete Discography" too! Everything is in limited quantities and only available while supplies last. Once this stuff is gone, it's gone for good. The Force - Complete Discography is and will always be available on iTunes for everyone out there who likes mp3s instead of LPs.

I've been trying to keep track of the interviews I've done recently. Below is an interview I did for Mishmash.



In horse blog news, I will attempt to release the horse blog this weekend. I don't want it to be compared to the AFI EP or my vegan blog that never happened.

Be true to your school.

The Force is a horse, of course, of course...

Sorry, no horses just yet. However, The Force - Complete Discography is now totally available on iTunes. This is the future, people! Start acting futuristic and download all 21 songs for only $9.99 (USD, which is cheap no matter where you're from!) That's less money than some people spend on a fake mustache!

...and while you're clicking and buying, don't forget that tickets are still available for The Force's 10 year reunion shows. Simply CLICK HERE and follow the easy-to-follow instructions.

Listen, I'm no salesman. I'm just a regular guy trying to let you all in on a great opportunity. Don't pass these deals up!

Buzznet interviews Hunter and Dan!

This is part one of a three part interview Dan and I did last June with DJ Rossstar. We talked mostly about Hunter Revenge, but also covered AFI, my side project with Tegan, Chocolate Nailgun (the best band on earth and the moon), Little Seizures, and on and on... I'm not going to sit here and tell you about it...you should just watch!
PART 2
PART 3
These are not in any particular order.

Okay...I've gotta run to practice with The Force at a top secret location.
Next time, the fabled horse blog...Bye!

I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

I've spent a long time writing what will probably be the greatest blog entry ever written (at least the greatest entry about horses,) but while taking my time to make it the greatest, I have neglected a bunch of important things. So the horse blog will have to wait! I know you're crying right now, and that's okay. I understand. The horse blog will be done soon. In the meantime, here's a lightning speed update:

Hunter Revenge is playing the Warped Tour this Sunday, August 17, 2008 at the Home Depot Center parking lot in Carson, CA (near LA) Our set time is unknown, but if you follow me on Twitter, I will let everyone know as soon as I know.

The Force is getting ready for the reunion shows. We have been practicing like mad and it's sounding very tough. I feel ten years younger, or at least ten years less old. Tickets are still on sale for these shows, and it would be awesome to see all my friends, fans, acquaintances, and foes there. Foes make for a good pit. We will have all new merch and also the limited edition vinyl "Complete Discography" that all your friends want to buy. Go to The Force's website for tickets. I also recently added this 1997 performance of "Goodnight" to my youtube channel:

AFI is still working on our next record, so don't worry. Just because we haven't played a show or released that EP does NOT mean that we broke up. Some people worry too much. You guys are going to love our new songs. I don't want to get ahead of myself here, but I think we're real contenders for a Daytime Emmy award. Seacrest can kiss my grits!

OK! I'm off to drink coffee and work on my horse blog some more. Hey...has anyone seen any good movies lately?