2009 New Year's Resolutions

Now that all my bass parts have been recorded for the upcoming AFI record, and I have finally finished watching all of the Begin Transmission video submissions, I had a chance to finish up my list of resolutions for the new year.

TRANQUIL MAMMOTH'S
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
FOR 2009
1. Blog More Often - I have a tendency to write long blogs, and that takes time. In 2009, I resolve to also write shorter, more frequent blogs as well. Sometimes a good picture is enough. Pictures = 1000 words, right?

2. Join A Celebrity Gym - Since my body is somewhere between Beaker and Bubbles De Vere (both celebrities), I naturally feel like I should join a celebrity gym where I can run on the treadmill next to people like Phil Collins and Bea Arthur. In a celebrity gym, this would be possible. I would to be able to ask Michael "Biv" Bivins or Conan O'Brien if they will spot me. "Hey Neil Patrick Harris, are you done with those 75 lb. dumbells?" I would look over when I'm on the eliptical and see David Bowie working up a sweat. George Michael, would have a fresh towel for me to borrow, and Jeff Garlin (well he should be there) would let me borrow some coins for the vending machine. On another day, I'd see the Olsen twins and Steve Martin working on their abs with one of those inflatable balls. I'd see Snoop Doggy Dogg and Stevie Wonder on the (tandem) exercycle, and the dad from Silver Spoons working those glutes. I'd also see Bruce Lee somehow. Yes, in 2009, I resolve to join a celebrity gym if only for the chance to see these people, and the many other celebrities that I haven't mentioned in my blog over the years.

3. Learn Latin

4. Quit Smocking - Before you jump at the chance to correct my typo (it's not a typo) or yell at me for smoking (I don't smoke) I'd like to send you HERE. Can you believe how many people misspell smoking? Typos bother me, but misspelled words drive me up the wall! This isn't really a resolution- or is it? In 2009, I resolve to triple spell check EVERYTHING I write, including text messages. You should too.

5. Clean Out The Spare Closet - I have a spare closet that is filled with things I couldn't possibly use. Things like The Force's Complete Discography on 12" vinyl. In 2009, I resolve to get rid of these things at any cost, even if it means selling them on ebay. Wait! That's it! In 2009, I resolve to sell a bunch of stuff on ebay! Stayed tuned for details!!

6. Go Even Greener - In 2006 we saw An Inconvenient Truth and it freaked us out. We panicked, and started recycling and carpooling, but eventually we forgot about greenhouse gasses. In 2007, the Live Earth Concerts reminded us that our carbon footprint needed to be smaller (or nonexistent) and we freaked out again. We brought our own bags to the grocery store, traded our SUVs for Priuses and even thought about solar panels, but eventually we forgot about saving the planet. In 2008, gas prices soared so high that we ditched our cars and took the bus, or the train, or a bike, or even our feet. Companies started responding to the consumers' need for "green" versions of existing products. We made more steps in the right direction, but we keep running into the same problem: when we don't notice immediate changes, we give up and our efforts fade into history. In 2009, I resolve to continue to modify my lifestyle to better preserve the planet for future generations. Going green isn't something you do once. It's not a light bulb you buy, it's a change you make in your lifestyle and in the way you think.

So that's my list. What are your resolutions for the year 2009?

****UPDATE!!!! JANUARY 10, 2009 3:40 PM****
7. Learn The Guitar Solo From Skid Row's "I Remember You" - I forgot to add this very important one. It was early and I hadn't had any coffee yet. Dave "The Snake" Sabo Scotti Hill. Pinch harmonics. Bends. Palm mutes. Hammer-ons. Pull-offs. Dives. This one has it all! In 2008, I resolved to learn the solo from Aerosmith's "Angel" and in 2009, it will be Skid Row's "I Remember You."

The Canadian Long Weekend

My dear readers, I sincerely apologize for taking so long between blog entries. With the current state of the economy, I know you guys and gals get enraged very easily and need the constant distraction that Tranquil Mammoth provides. I won't let it happen again. I've had some problems with my internet service here in Mammothland (that's where Tranq lives) and decided to finally give in and upgrade to the 2400 baud modem. Isn't she a beauty?

In other news, it was a Canadian "long weekend." I had the distinct honor of playing shakers with Tegan and Sara at three of their concerts in Los Angeles, California. They are such a great band. If for some reason you don't already own all of their albums, I suggest you stop reading right now and go purchase them! My pal Matt Sharp (of weezer and Rentals fame) joined me on the tambourine. I found a shaky (no pun intended) version of it on youtube, but the audio is horrible, so don't feel obligated to click here. It reminded me of one of those family bands, or perhaps an all-star variety show from the 1970s. Anyhow, it was a really fun weekend and I'd like to say hello to all the people that I talked to at the shows. Hello!
On a side note, I literally almost had to shave Canadian Kid In The Hall, Kevin McDonald's back in front of a few hundred people on Saturday. Weird. Weird that I'm not making this up, because that seems like something I would make up (c'mon...Bea Arthur!?), but it's 100% true.

If you're like me and you haven't already figured out what you're going to be for Halloween, now is the time to get on it! We have ten days to scrape something together! If anyone has any good ideas, let me know in the comments. When you leave it up to the last minute, you end dressing like WHAM! era George Michael, or Andrew W.K..

I'm out like a trout, but before I go, I'd like to send a shout out to Freaky-B, Fuzz Fuzz, Lil' Ridiculous, Klerpy, Lo-Blud Suge, Sh'shaun Sean, Ol' Baby, Turkey Vultch, Clawsy, and Michael Bivins.