Hunter Burgan Q&A part 5 (of 7)

I now present you with the fifth Q&A* vlog in a series of seven. Since the apocalypse is on its way, let me waste no time in giving you your instructions.

You have until midnight to do the following:
1. Watch it in HQ. (HQ is French for "high quality")
2. Subscribe to the channel.
3. Check your email.
4. Eat a sandwich.
5. Tell 5 people about my blog/videos/twitter. Who? People that don't know about my blog.
6. Watch the other videos again. They're even better the second, third, or twelfth time!

I know you can do it! Don't let me down, or you'll be letting the earth and the moon down! Be brave and bold!

*Quarktoplax and Alphatine

Question Authority

It's question time again!

Ok...last time I asked you to make up "How do I _____?" questions knowing very well that I would not be answering them. I received many great questions and the "something" that I'm working on is a little bit better now because of your questions. Thank you! I feel a little guilty though. Although I specifically stated that I would not be answering your questions, I still feel like you, dear readers, deserve to have a few questions answered. So...

This time around I want to answer some of your questions!

Here are my conditions:
1. Only one question per person, so choose wisely. Don't ask something that has already been asked.
2. You must submit your question as a comment to this blog entry between 12pm PT and 6pm PT on Friday, March 20, 2009. Questions posted before noon or after six pm pacific time today will not be considered. No exceptions. I'm sorry if you miss the window.
3. I will try to answer as many questions as possible, but I reserve the right to not answer questions that I feel are inappropriate. I might not know the answer to some questions, and other I might not legally or morally be able to answer, so once again, choose wisely.
4. Be creative. I am more likely to pick fun, smart, unique questions.
5. I might just not pick your question for no reason. Don't cry if your question gets overlooked. I'd like to keep this fun and hopefully we can do this more often.
6. Much of the information relating to the upcoming AFI album is either a secret or just simply unknown. Please understand and respect this when composing your question. The same applies to the moon.
7. I will not answer questions from "Anonymous". Since all "Anonymous" comments look like they're coming from the same user, I have no way of know if they are coming from unique people or not. So...DON'T anonymously ask your question.

Oh did I mention?
I'm going to answer these via video!
Now go out there and fight!!

Hello! Hallo! Witaj! Hei! Hej! Hola! Здравствуйте! Yo!

With the majority of 2008 behind us and Autumn suddenly upon us, I'd like to take a few moments to reflect on something that most of you probably don't even think about:


Most visits, by country/territory:
1. United States
2. Canada
3. Australia
4. United Kingdom
5. Germany
6. Poland
7. Finland
8. Sweden
9. Mexico
10. New Zealand
11. Moon
If you don't see your country/territory listed above, it just means you need to encourage your friends to read this blog more. Not every country/territory can be in the coveted top 11.

Most visits, by city:
1. (not set)
2. West Hollywood
3. Perth
4. Brisbane
5. San Francisco
6. London
I don't know where "(not set)" is, so I will assume it's on the moon. I also didn't realize I had such a concentrated readership in Western Australia. [Note to my Canadian readers: If you are a bit confused about why you're #2 on the country/territory list, yet you have no cities in the top 6, it's because you are evenly (perhaps even perfectly) distributed across 120 different cities.]

Longest average time spent per visit, by country/territory:
1. Serbia (9:33!!)
2. India
3. Portugal
4. Slovakia
5. Romania
Keep in mind, when reading this blog, that there is no rush. Explore the different pictures, videos, links and prose. Let the words seep into your soul at a natural pace. The Serbians certainly have the right idea.

Fact: Readers in Costa Rica spend an average of :06 seconds reading this blog.
Apparently Costa Ricans are fast readers!

Fact: 3.6% of Tranquil Mammoth readers use dial-up.
What's up with that!? Seriously?

Fact: No one in Alaska has ever read this blog.
...which I had actually suspected for quite some time.

Check out this pie chart:
This chart tells us that 85.63% of Tranquil Mammoth's readers live in English speaking countries/territories. This is great, because I speak English! But what about the readers in the rest of the world that do NOT live in English speaking countries/territories? Tranquil Mammoth has readers all over the world and the moon! In fact, my research tells me that you guys and girls live in places where 44 different primary languages are spoken! That's a Google Analytics-verified fact!

In order to reach more readers in non-English speaking countries/territories, I have decided that I will poorly translate parts of this blog into other languages. If you only speak English, then this will give you an opportunity to learn a new language, courtesy of Tranquil Mammoth. Let's begin.

Inte detta pumpa paj ser bra ut? Hösten är min favorit tidpunkten för år. Jag älskar att titta på bladen ändra färg på träden. Har du bor på en plats där bladen ändra färg också?

Check out this pie:
N-am mai fost în România. E frumos acolo? Am cumparat recent "The Kids in the Hall" de pe DVD-ul. Te-am iubit ca show TV crescut. Stii de spectacol Sunt referindu-se la?

Finden Sie nicht auch hasse es, wenn man auf eine Tankstelle, weil Sie dringend zu urinieren, und die Toilette Schlüssel wird an einem schmutzigen Stück Holz oder ein anderes Objekt, das Sie müssen in die Toilette? Wo werden Sie es, während Sie urinieren?

ねえ、あなたが私の馬のブログを読むのですか？している場合は、実際に私はまだ考えている"とは、 "し、今では大きなチャンスです。下にスクロール...これだけのすぐ下に1つのブログのエントリの！

O que você começa quando você atravessar uma insónias, agnóstica, e de um disléxico? Alguém que fica a noite toda me perguntando se existe um cão! -Groucho Marx ...Na verdade, eu acho piada que só funciona em Inglês. Desculpa :-/

Ik ben nieuwsgierig: Heb mijn Nederlandse lezers graag Guitar Hero of Rock Band beter? Misschien beschikt u niet spelen van videospellen. Moet ik eens Nederlandse lezers? Google Analytics suggereert dat ik er ten minste 37. Ik ben dol op het Nederlandse woord voor 'gek'.

Вы знакомы с Jeff Garlin? Я думаю, что он очень смешной. Если он когда-либо заходит на ваш район для выполнения резервных мер комедии, необходимо, чтобы вы участвуете. Я также пользуются Steve Martin огромный, но он уже не выполняет резервных мер комедии.

Check out the moon:
यह लगभग रात के भोजन का वक्त आ गया है, और मैं शाकाहारी शिकागो के लिए बाहर जा रहा हूँ शैली की गहरी पकवान pizza! यह बहुत स्वादिष्ट है! तुम मुझे ईर्ष्या.

53 6f 20 77 68 61 74 27 73 20 75 70 20 77 69 74 68 20 74 68 65 20 6d 6f 6f 6e 3f 20 45 76 65 72 79 74 68 69 6e 67 21 20 28 67 65 74 20 69 74 3f 29 20 41 6e 79 77 61 79 73 2e 2e 2e 43 6f 6e 67 72 61 74 73 20 6f 6e 20 6d 61 6b 69 6e 67 20 74 68 65 20 74 6f 70 20 31 31 21 20 59 6f 75 20 61 72 65 20 73 6f 6d 65 20 6f 66 20 6d 79 20 62 65 73 74 20 61 6e 64 20 6d 6f 73 74 20 64 65 76 6f 74 65 64 20 72 65 61 64 65 72 73 21 20 53 74 61 79 20 46 72 65 73 68 21 21 (since I'm not sure if people on the moon speak Hex, I also translated this into Binary.)

So there you have it, the first ever, semi-irregular, Tranquil Mammoth multi-lingual statistic blog. I hope you learned something. I know I sure did. Until next time, Goodbye! Auf Wiedersehen! Do widzenia! Näkemiin! Hejdå! Adiós! До свидания!