Time flies and so can you!

2008 is just racing by!

Since I've being working in the studio (AFI...heard of us?) a lot lately, I've neglected good ol' Tranquil Mammoth! I apologize. To paraphrase the guy who played the dad on Silver Spoons, "Sometimes you have to go out and live life in order to have something to blog about."

Back in March, Dr. Pepper (my favorite soda ever, even though I no longer drink soda) made a bet with America that Axl wouldn't release Guns N' Roses' Chinese Democracy in the year 2008. Since the new Gn'R album dropped earlier today (November 23rd), Dr. Pepper lost that bet and has been giving away free Dr. Pepper all day. They even extended it until 6pm EST tomorrow (November 24th) due to consumer demand. Click here to get yours now!

Check out Dan Kelly and myself wearing two of Devo's personal Energy Domes. These are the ones they actually wear on stage!

Halloween was a blast, although I'll admit that I had my mind on another holiday altogether. I'll talk more about that later. I went to see my pals in Rise Against at the newly remodeled Palladium in Hollywood. This is totally old news to some, but some people like old news (I personally hate old news). Rise Against played two Devo songs during their encore dressed as "Whip It" era Devo. It was fantastic, but their fans seemed bored by it. Gerald Casale joined them on stage for "Beautiful World".

November found me at my local polling place, doing what every citizen should have been doing, talking to an old woman from my neighborhood who volunteered, and then voting. Only moments later I found myself terribly disappointed with the results of Proposition 8. What happened, California? Seriously?!? Anyhow...after that I hit the streets with Steve and Sally to protest (along with thousands and thousands of others) the blatant violation of rights. Steve originally had laser eyes, but I covered them up so my casual readers wouldn't be scared.

Eventually the green leaves on the trees turned to lovely reds and oranges, which served to remind me (with my friend Stacy's help, of course) that my pal Ed Templeton was having an art show in Culver City. You can read more about the show in his blog (which is a really great blog) here.
Here's a picture of me and Neil "Doogie" Patrick "Howser" Harris "MD" at the opening. He's over on the right by the wall. Facing the wall. I mean...at least he's in the photo, right?

I'm off now to get a few Zs (that's slang for sleep) before hitting the studio tomorrow. I have a few blogs I need to get out of my system in the next week, so check back soon for some of the following topics: an AFI studio related blog, a blog about the great Blockbuster heist, a blog to raise funds for the mammoth regeneration, a psychedelic photo (that's the only kind of picture my phone will take) blog and a holiday blog like none you have ever seen!

The Canadian Long Weekend

My dear readers, I sincerely apologize for taking so long between blog entries. With the current state of the economy, I know you guys and gals get enraged very easily and need the constant distraction that Tranquil Mammoth provides. I won't let it happen again. I've had some problems with my internet service here in Mammothland (that's where Tranq lives) and decided to finally give in and upgrade to the 2400 baud modem. Isn't she a beauty?

In other news, it was a Canadian "long weekend." I had the distinct honor of playing shakers with Tegan and Sara at three of their concerts in Los Angeles, California. They are such a great band. If for some reason you don't already own all of their albums, I suggest you stop reading right now and go purchase them! My pal Matt Sharp (of weezer and Rentals fame) joined me on the tambourine. I found a shaky (no pun intended) version of it on youtube, but the audio is horrible, so don't feel obligated to click here. It reminded me of one of those family bands, or perhaps an all-star variety show from the 1970s. Anyhow, it was a really fun weekend and I'd like to say hello to all the people that I talked to at the shows. Hello!
On a side note, I literally almost had to shave Canadian Kid In The Hall, Kevin McDonald's back in front of a few hundred people on Saturday. Weird. Weird that I'm not making this up, because that seems like something I would make up (c'mon...Bea Arthur!?), but it's 100% true.

If you're like me and you haven't already figured out what you're going to be for Halloween, now is the time to get on it! We have ten days to scrape something together! If anyone has any good ideas, let me know in the comments. When you leave it up to the last minute, you end dressing like WHAM! era George Michael, or Andrew W.K..

I'm out like a trout, but before I go, I'd like to send a shout out to Freaky-B, Fuzz Fuzz, Lil' Ridiculous, Klerpy, Lo-Blud Suge, Sh'shaun Sean, Ol' Baby, Turkey Vultch, Clawsy, and Michael Bivins.

Hello! Hallo! Witaj! Hei! Hej! Hola! Здравствуйте! Yo!

With the majority of 2008 behind us and Autumn suddenly upon us, I'd like to take a few moments to reflect on something that most of you probably don't even think about:


Most visits, by country/territory:
1. United States
2. Canada
3. Australia
4. United Kingdom
5. Germany
6. Poland
7. Finland
8. Sweden
9. Mexico
10. New Zealand
11. Moon
If you don't see your country/territory listed above, it just means you need to encourage your friends to read this blog more. Not every country/territory can be in the coveted top 11.

Most visits, by city:
1. (not set)
2. West Hollywood
3. Perth
4. Brisbane
5. San Francisco
6. London
I don't know where "(not set)" is, so I will assume it's on the moon. I also didn't realize I had such a concentrated readership in Western Australia. [Note to my Canadian readers: If you are a bit confused about why you're #2 on the country/territory list, yet you have no cities in the top 6, it's because you are evenly (perhaps even perfectly) distributed across 120 different cities.]

Longest average time spent per visit, by country/territory:
1. Serbia (9:33!!)
2. India
3. Portugal
4. Slovakia
5. Romania
Keep in mind, when reading this blog, that there is no rush. Explore the different pictures, videos, links and prose. Let the words seep into your soul at a natural pace. The Serbians certainly have the right idea.

Fact: Readers in Costa Rica spend an average of :06 seconds reading this blog.
Apparently Costa Ricans are fast readers!

Fact: 3.6% of Tranquil Mammoth readers use dial-up.
What's up with that!? Seriously?

Fact: No one in Alaska has ever read this blog.
...which I had actually suspected for quite some time.

Check out this pie chart:
This chart tells us that 85.63% of Tranquil Mammoth's readers live in English speaking countries/territories. This is great, because I speak English! But what about the readers in the rest of the world that do NOT live in English speaking countries/territories? Tranquil Mammoth has readers all over the world and the moon! In fact, my research tells me that you guys and girls live in places where 44 different primary languages are spoken! That's a Google Analytics-verified fact!

In order to reach more readers in non-English speaking countries/territories, I have decided that I will poorly translate parts of this blog into other languages. If you only speak English, then this will give you an opportunity to learn a new language, courtesy of Tranquil Mammoth. Let's begin.

Inte detta pumpa paj ser bra ut? Hösten är min favorit tidpunkten för år. Jag älskar att titta på bladen ändra färg på träden. Har du bor på en plats där bladen ändra färg också?

Check out this pie:
N-am mai fost în România. E frumos acolo? Am cumparat recent "The Kids in the Hall" de pe DVD-ul. Te-am iubit ca show TV crescut. Stii de spectacol Sunt referindu-se la?

Finden Sie nicht auch hasse es, wenn man auf eine Tankstelle, weil Sie dringend zu urinieren, und die Toilette Schlüssel wird an einem schmutzigen Stück Holz oder ein anderes Objekt, das Sie müssen in die Toilette? Wo werden Sie es, während Sie urinieren?

ねえ、あなたが私の馬のブログを読むのですか？している場合は、実際に私はまだ考えている"とは、 "し、今では大きなチャンスです。下にスクロール...これだけのすぐ下に1つのブログのエントリの！

O que você começa quando você atravessar uma insónias, agnóstica, e de um disléxico? Alguém que fica a noite toda me perguntando se existe um cão! -Groucho Marx ...Na verdade, eu acho piada que só funciona em Inglês. Desculpa :-/

Ik ben nieuwsgierig: Heb mijn Nederlandse lezers graag Guitar Hero of Rock Band beter? Misschien beschikt u niet spelen van videospellen. Moet ik eens Nederlandse lezers? Google Analytics suggereert dat ik er ten minste 37. Ik ben dol op het Nederlandse woord voor 'gek'.

Вы знакомы с Jeff Garlin? Я думаю, что он очень смешной. Если он когда-либо заходит на ваш район для выполнения резервных мер комедии, необходимо, чтобы вы участвуете. Я также пользуются Steve Martin огромный, но он уже не выполняет резервных мер комедии.

Check out the moon:
यह लगभग रात के भोजन का वक्त आ गया है, और मैं शाकाहारी शिकागो के लिए बाहर जा रहा हूँ शैली की गहरी पकवान pizza! यह बहुत स्वादिष्ट है! तुम मुझे ईर्ष्या.

53 6f 20 77 68 61 74 27 73 20 75 70 20 77 69 74 68 20 74 68 65 20 6d 6f 6f 6e 3f 20 45 76 65 72 79 74 68 69 6e 67 21 20 28 67 65 74 20 69 74 3f 29 20 41 6e 79 77 61 79 73 2e 2e 2e 43 6f 6e 67 72 61 74 73 20 6f 6e 20 6d 61 6b 69 6e 67 20 74 68 65 20 74 6f 70 20 31 31 21 20 59 6f 75 20 61 72 65 20 73 6f 6d 65 20 6f 66 20 6d 79 20 62 65 73 74 20 61 6e 64 20 6d 6f 73 74 20 64 65 76 6f 74 65 64 20 72 65 61 64 65 72 73 21 20 53 74 61 79 20 46 72 65 73 68 21 21 (since I'm not sure if people on the moon speak Hex, I also translated this into Binary.)

So there you have it, the first ever, semi-irregular, Tranquil Mammoth multi-lingual statistic blog. I hope you learned something. I know I sure did. Until next time, Goodbye! Auf Wiedersehen! Do widzenia! Näkemiin! Hejdå! Adiós! До свидания!

Horse Blog Vol. 1

After much (possibly too much) anticipation and hype, I now present to you Vol. 1 of my horse blog. Before we begin this horse adventure, I would like to share with you something that French Surrealist, André Breton once said,

"The man who can't visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot."

They say you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I think that's assuming a lot! First off, can we really assume the horse's gender without checking? I, for one, do not wish to be the person in charge of checking. Do you know what the statistics for non-fatal horse related injuries in the US are? I didn't either until I read this. So for the sake of this blog, let's just call the horse an "it."

They say you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I think that's still assuming a lot! I mean...can you? Can you lead a horse to water? Can you lead a horse at all? Can you even find a horse? I don't know about you, but where I live there aren't horses just hanging around waiting to be lead around. This saying must date back to a time when horses were just hanging around every corner. So, in order to rule out some of these variables and make this easier, let's just assume that you are lucky enough to find a horse who is already near water.

They say you can't make a horse drink. I believe it. That horse is spoiled. You could probably buy that horse some candy and flowers or maybe take it on a date to a really nice Italian restaurant and a jazz club afterwards or even fly that horse to Horse Island for a weekend getaway AND STILL the horse probably wouldn't drink, which brings me to the next question.

Why are you trying to get this horse to drink? Surely you aren't trying to take advantage of a horse that's been drinking, right? I'm sure the last thing you need right now, dear readers, is some type of legal mess that involves an under-aged horse. A jury is not going to be very sympathetic, especially after the cops find the dead horse's body in your trunk! I know what you're thinking, "But Hunter, what was I supposed to do with the body!?!"
There's no use in beating a dead horse. I'll agree with that one. Unless, well... Unless you're under the impression that you can beat a dead horse back to life. I looked online for the definitive site for horse CPR, but all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

"Hold your horses, Hunter!" you might be thinking right now, "Where are you going with all of this?" Well, dear readers, that's a very good question. Winston Churchill once said, "There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man." That makes me wonder what he thought of the inside of a horse. Churchill was smart enough to know that the inside of a horse is often filled with Greek soldiers. At least that's how it was back in the day.

If you lead a horse to water and it decides to drink, then what? If you are clever enough to convince the horse of its thirst, then my work is done here. The student has become the master. Good for you!
This draws us to the conclusion of the horse blog Vol. 1. Until the next volume, I will leave you with this quote from comedy pioneer, Stan Laurel.

"You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead."

It feels like Christmas! (in more ways than one)

Before I post my epic horse blog, I just wanted to share some of the banners people have made for The Force's online store.

Sam made these:




Hazel made this:


and Klerpy turned in this gem: