Tranquil Mammoth

Thoughts on Adrenaline

2011-10-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

Psychedelic Road Trip

You're driving along a coastal highway. An eighteen wheeler slams into you, pushing you into the guardrail just inches from an ocean cliff.

You are alone in the woods. A bear appears out of nowhere and belches a hungry growl just inches from your face.

You are caught in a tornado. Your house is pulled off its foundation and thrust into a colorful fantasy land, crushing a local witch.

Adrenaline pumps into your veins and yells,

"Lift the house off of that witch!"

Witch legs are these?

Logic would tell you that lifting a house is impossible for a single human being with regular-human strength, but your ears are deaf to logic! You lift the house off the witch! You punch the bear in the face! You jump out the sunroof just before your car plummets to its watery grave.

Globule

Adrenaline

(AKA Epinephrine)

Nature has a way of giving terrifying situations a run for their money, and it's a definite performance enhancer. Even professional athletes are finding new ways to harness this phenomenon for their own gains. Just before a match, star athletes typically watch a scary film in the locker room. They watch The Exorcist then they go out and win big! Now you know why there are movie screens in all locker rooms! Does your local gym have one? If not, you can write a letter to your local congressman, congresswoman or congressperson. Here's how!

Real

P.S. Punching a bear's face might hurt your hand after the adrenaline rush has worn off. I'm icing my hand right now to reduce swelling.

That is all.

Next time I'll tell you about the time I went waterskiing with Botticelli's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandniece.

I also might decide to show you how to put snakes under your bed sheets to create the "snakes under the bed sheets" look that is so popular these days.

Mozart vs. Hunter

2011-09-30T15:21:00.000-07:00

Wolfgangus?

September 30th, 1791 – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (AKA Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart, AKA Moatsy, AKA Golfwangus, AKA Wuss in Boots) conducted the first performance of The Magic Flute at Freihaus-Theater auf der Wieden in Vienna, Austria. This would be the last opera by Mozart to make its debut, as he died about two months later.

He was only 35 years old! (That's my age!)

Mozart was a child prodigy, born in the 50s. The 1750s. According to a popular online encyclopedia of knowledge (albeit a publicly editable one, and therefore dubious and subject to scrutiny), Mozart "composed over 600 works, many acknowledged as pinnacles of symphonic, concertante, chamber, piano, operatic, and choral music." If you beat yourself up about not writing more "pinnacle" songs (as I do), Mozart is someone you might masochistically compare and contrast yourself with. I made a fancy chart to illustrate this:

Tranquil Mammoth Challenge: Mozart vs. Hunter

	Mozart	Hunter	point
Age 0	Born in "Salzburg"	Born in Long Beach, USA	Mozart
Age 3	Learns to play the harpsichord	Learns to play with toys	Mozart
Age 5	Begins to compose	Enters kindergarten	Mozart
Age 6	Visits Paris and London	Performs publicly for the first time (Louie Louie on piano for 1st grade class during recess)	Hunter
Age 8	Composes first symphony	Learns to play clarinet (actually age 9)	Mozart
Age 12	Premieres first opera in Vienna, Bastien und Bastienne	Forms first band, Taurus	Mozart
Age 14	Receives the Order of the Golden Spur from Pope Clement. (Order of the Golden Girls would have been cooler)	Forms second band, Little Seizures	Hunter (Who cares about a Golden Spur?!)
Age 21	Toured with his mother hoping to find a court position	Joined AFI and toured the USA, Canada, Japan, Europe and the UK for the first time (not with his mother)	Hunter
Age 20s	Composes some of his finest works that would continue to influence Western music for centuries	Wrote 24 Hour Party Zone and many other less influential songs	Mozart
Age 29	Meets Haydn who praises him as "the greatest living composer"	Meets Paul McCartney and challenges him to a "bass off"	tie
Age 35	Dies on December 5th in Vienna and is buried in an unmarked grave	Still alive in Los Angeles (as of this moment)	Hunter
Total	7	5	Winner: Mozart

So as you can see, Mozart wins. That jerk Mozart always wins! I'll catch up to him someday!

Mozart always wins!

As a modern man in a modern world, I have a few advantages over Mozart:

1. I'm still alive. Mozart can't say that!

2. I can play drums. Mozart probably never learned to "pound the skins"!

3. Modern medicine. Mozart could have used it!

4. Google.com Mozart would've had to use this.

5. Mozart was probably a total wuss. He is one of the most revered composers of the Classical era, but I doubt he could hold his own in a no-holds-barred street fight. Although I've never been in an actual street fight, I've seen way more movies about fighting than Mozart ever has. I bet I could use the crane move from the end of Karate Kid on him and he wouldn't know what hit him...he's THAT FAR behind the times!

Alex "Neon Shark" Masi

Next time I'm going to compare Mozart's life to that of Alex Masi (pictured to the right). I don't want to spoil it for you, but Mr. Masi has a few tricks up his leather sleeve. He has a trick on his chest as well.

And either the time after that or three times from now, I'm going to compare my life to Strawberry Shortcake's life and share a recipe for vegan strawberry shortcake that will make you want to vomit in ecstasy.

That's all for now.

Press Release: Steve Jobs Steps Down

2011-08-24T14:08:00.000-07:00

PRESS RELEASE: Letter from Steve Jobs

August 24, 2011–To the Apple Board of Directors and the Apple Community:

I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.

I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. I would like to serve, if the Board sees fit, as Chairman of the Board, director and Apple employee.

As far as my successor goes, I strongly recommend that we execute our succession plan and name Mr. T as CEO of Apple.

I believe Apple’s brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it. And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role.

I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you.

Poison Oak? No. Questions answered with videos instead!

2010-11-13T03:06:00.000-08:00

Hunter Revenge - Little Baby - Yo Gabba Gabba

2010-05-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

Here's Hunter Revenge performing the song "Little Baby" from this week's episode of Yo Gabba Gabba. Isn't this the cutest thing you've ever seen in your life? I can't say enough great things about the folks at Gabba, or about babies in general. This was a really fun opportunity and I will jump at the chance to do more things like this in the future. In fact, I'm going to go practice jumping at the gym right now so I'm ready when I get the call.

P.S. Thanks to AFI News HQ for putting this up on youtube.

Bow Hunter

2010-05-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

People love to tell me that Hunter is an ironic name for a vegan. You think I didn't realize this already? I've been vegan since 2000 and vegetarian since 1992. I've had plenty of time to think about all the Easter egg hunts I've missed out on. My name actually isn't ironic when you consider all the international treasure hunts I've participated in over the years. Hunter is no more an ironic name for a vegan than Dick Butkus is for one of the greatest linebackers of all time.

Abraham Drinkin' Trilogy

2010-05-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

I just thought I'd post the entire Abraham Drinkin' Trilogy before I continue posting other videos. I don't apologize if you've seen this before. Your life isn't so short that spending an additional 30 seconds watching a humorous video is going to change things for the worse. However, if you die in the next 30 seconds, then I do apologize...although I can't think of a better way to go.

Take a minute and subscribe to my youtube channel if you haven't already. It's well worth the effort.

Abraham Drinkin': An Intro to Flash

2010-04-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

Here's my first attempt at Flash animation. This also marks my first attempt at re-imagining historical figures and the events that should have shaped history but didn't, probably because they didn't actually happen (or at least nobody knew they happened until now). I hope this doesn't land me in prison, but if it does, I'm going to get really buff.

TranquilMammoth.com has a new banner!?

2010-03-18T02:19:00.000-07:00

YES!
I thought I'd change the banner for the O-Ten.
What do you think? Tundra? Tar Pit?
Let me know with a click below!

Also, I found this woman walking into a time warp on google street view.

GOOGLED!

P.S. I have an official Tranquil Mammoth facebook page. Become a fan, "like it", or just ignore it with hatred in your heart.

New York City! Opera! Vocal Outtakes!

2010-03-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

Guess what! If I get this job, I will be moving to New York City!! That's right, the Big Apple! Home of the Yankees, the Mets and the New Yorker ! "How did this happen??" you ask? Well, let me tell you. While browsing some of the websites I regularly peruse, I came across this employment opportunity. These are the highlights, for those of you who hate clicking on links:

METROPOLITAN OPERA
Announces the following vacancies:
CHORISTERS:
BASS or BARITONE
SOPRANO (No Mezzo-Sopranos)
Resume deadline Midnight [EST] on March 30th, 2010.
Auditions to begin April 1st, 2010 until positions are filled
HIGHLY QUALIFIED APPLICANTS ONLY

What luck! I'm the person they're looking for! I have the vocal range of a bass but sing more comfortably in a baritonal tessitura. Some would call me a bass-baritone. As a bass-baritone, the operatic roles I am suited for include Méphistophélès from Faust by Charles Gounod, Don Giovanni from Don Giovanni by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and Figaro from The Marriage of Figaro, also by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
I think the Metropolitan Opera will find this video to be an adequate audition. If they need me to drop in on April 1st to seal the deal, I can certainly repeat this performance. Although I generally reserve that day for more foolish behavior, I suppose I can get serious for a brief demonstration of my vocal prowess. I hope the job pays well. I hear those lofts in Manhattan can get pretty pricey!

Back up plan: cast member on Saturday Night Live

Rabbit Plays Drums

2010-03-12T17:28:00.000-08:00

My good friend Ted and I shot this video last May and I only just got around to editing it. I guess that's what happens when you don't have enough free time on your hands. Editing video takes a lot longer than one might assume, and time is never free. After I successfully edit a hilarious (or just bizarre) video such as the one below, people often accuse me of having too much free time or being bored to the point of creativity. I assure you that neither are true. I'm never bored, and I can never find enough time to complete all of the projects I undertake. Having said that, I'm sure you'll appreciate the following video even more.

More videos will be coming soon! Subscribe now! Follow! ----->

Eye On Music - Guest: Hunter Burgan

2010-03-04T11:55:00.000-08:00

A year ago I was a guest on the classic music interview show, Eye On Music. I was pretty excited because as you probably know, Richard Bitterfeld has interviewed so many great musicians over the years. Everyone from Robert Smith to King Crimson to John Lennon to Mike Edwards has been a guest on the show. I've always held Richard Bitterfeld in the highest regard and considered his music knowledge to be comprehensive. That is, until I was a guest on his show. I guess when you've been doing interviews as long as he has, you're bound to have a few "off" days.

Y'all know I got mad skillz when it comes to def tambo beatz.

In The Studio With AFI - Tambourine

2010-02-28T07:33:00.000-08:00

Dear boys, girls, cats, and dogs,*
I now present you with yet another "Behind the Scenes" video from the recording sessions for AFI's Crash Love. If you've already seen this video, that simply proves you know how to work a computer. If you're a cat or a dog, then you have obviously overcome quite a few obstacles to reach this skill level. Good job! If you are watching this video for the first time and like what you hear, wow, you must be deaf. Actually, I mean def. Y'all know I got mad skillz when it comes to def tambo beatz.

Love and Rockets,
Hunter

P.S. If anyone wants me to play tambourine on their record, send an email to badasstambourine@gmail.com (Serious requests only, please)

*I assume that the majority of my readers are either boys, girls, cats, dogs, or some combination thereof.

In The Studio With AFI - Vocal Harmonies

2010-02-26T05:24:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,
Odds are, if you're an internet savvy lad or lass, you've already found this gem on the world wide web. If not, then here you go. You're welcome. This is one of a few "Behind The Scenes" videos the record label shot while we (AFI) were recording our most recent record, Crash Love. If you would like to purchase this record, please do. Here are a couple of lynx. Over the next week or so I'll post a few other videos from in the studio. Hopefully this will excuse me from blogger's detention.

Yours sincerely,
Hunter

P.S. I really like what you've done with your hair.

Ghosts and Cat Tribes

2009-12-05T14:10:00.000-08:00

"Hunter, why haven't you blogged in 6 months?!"
I hear questions like this all the time. People are curious, and I can't blame them for that. The truth is, I've been very busy doing this AFI thing, working on new Hunter Revenge material, but most importantly—writing a book. All of my "writing energy", as I like to call it, has been spent on this book. As of now, there is no release date for my book because I don't have a publisher. If you would like to help speed along this process by emailing your favorite publisher and demanding they publish my book, I cannot stop you. In the mean time, let's discuss the other reason why I haven't blogged in so long: ghosts.

Back in June I hired some ghosts to ghostwrite my blog (ghostblog?) on my behalf. This made perfect sense, since I was getting busier and busier by the day and little time or "writing energy" for ~~trivial~~ important things like my blog. However, I failed to realize that ghosts use invisible fonts as a default setting. So to the untrained eye, it looks as if no blogs have been posted since June. Oops. I tinkered around with some of the ghosts' laptops and fixed this font problem. It won't happen again. In fact, here is one of the previously invisible blogs I "found" while I was tinkering. It's called,

Cat Tribes
When it comes to irrational fears I am sure snakes, spiders, and ghosts* are on most of our lists. However the one absolutely terrifying thing I am sure we can all agree on is the fear that we will one day be overthrown by a tribe of Native American Cats.

The evidence of this potential threat is there we just don't want to accept it. The possibility alone is enough for us to place bells on the necks of cats so they are unable to sneak up on us, or more importantly, perform any type of ancient tribal ritual without being heard. Catch your own dreams, cats. Leave me out of this!

I personally recall one of the more notorious tales of forewarned cat doom that dates back to the colonial era when the leader of the ancient Catnipashaw tribe declared a curse on the lives of all that "walked on two legs and dangled yarn, like empty promises, in front of the faces of his brethren. "

This leader, a calico named Chases Own Tail, made it clear that neither he nor anyone from his tribe would ever allow the land that was rightfully theirs to be stolen, food sources depleted by the white man, or laser pens to lead them in confusing circles and away from the sacred lands of their ancestors. He warned, "If you take what is rightfully ours, what we have owned for years before your arrival, your future will be paved in bite marks and scratches."

You won't find much in today's history books about the sordid past of Native American Cat tribes. However, a lot of the way we share our space with the indentured servants of their tribe today is indicative of a past almost too dark to recall.

After the famous defeat at Fort Scratching Post, the captured cat tribesmen were taken to a makeshift prison, similar to that of an upside down laundry basket, where each was forced to sleep on piles of clothes and were given only a bowl of stale dried food that had been shaped to mimic meat but was mostly made of roots and vegetables. It was said some were even forced to accept the new religion brought by the settlers and to adorn their clothing.

"We want them to understand their place," General Crazy Cat Lady later wrote in her memoir The Fur On the Couch of Freedom. "If they think they can just walk around this land, batting at the ankles of every man that passes by, they're wrong. Our freedom is what we came here for and I'll be damned if they think they can take a nap on the pile of papers we call our Constitution."

Research tells us these same captured tribesmen were also forced into small boxes with ground ceramic pieces lining the floor that they were forced to use to defecate and urinate in. It was said many of these prisoners suffered the agony of the ceramic pieces being stuck in their fur and toes and at times they were unable to walk.

Tribal leader Sleeps In Sunspots wrote about these crimes against his people after he was captured in battle and forced into slavery. "My brothers and sisters may have lost this battle but the war is far from over. Rest assured, we may come into your homes as slaves but we will leave as victorious enemies. The spirit of the tiger lies within our hearts. Never shall you rest easy as we occupy the spaces in your sink or threaten to steal the breath of every new born baby. We will raise our paws in unity against the common forces against us. We will chase the tail of freedom. No man, woman, or ball of paper will keep us from our destiny. Like the sun shall always defeat the moon, so shall we regain our rightful place. Mark my words. Meow."

It is uncertain if the threats made against us so many years ago will come to fruition. The docile ancestors we see today seem to have accepted their fate as our pets, at least for now.

My suggestion? Sleep with one eye open (but definitely not two.) If your cat starts to bat at door knobs or seems to understand the working mechanics of the water faucet, take note. They're adapting. It won't be long before we see them hiding in cardboard boxes or preparing for attack inside a grocery bag. In preparation for capture, they'll try to block our access to technology by sleeping on our laptops or walking on the keyboard as we try to send a distress signal. They may try to physically cripple us by attacking our feet when under a blanket.

Like General Crazy Cat Lady warned in her memoir, "They will throw us off the path of war by disarming us with their charm. Never trust they stop plotting, regardless of the amount of time they seem to be sleeping. They're clever. And as they knead the blanket to ready for sleep, they too shall knead into the very jugular of our American freedom."

*inside joke for ghosts

Toronto Nights: A Casual Ramble Blog

2009-06-20T00:08:00.000-07:00

Some bloggers blog every single day. I am not one of those bloggers. Would you believe I don't even know how to type? What do other bloggers blog about? Real things? They just ramble on in a casual tone about their day? That's so boring...but I'm willing to try anything for a quick buck! Here's a "casual ramble blog" for you:

It's raining outside right now. It was nice all day, but now I can hear the rain hitting the window of the hotel. I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I think this trip to Toronto has totally thrown my schedule off. Before I left LA, I was going to bed at a reasonable hour and waking up before 8am. Last night I slept from midnight to 3am and then from 6am until noon?! What a weird schedule! The only coffee I was able to find in a short period of time was Starbucks. It's odd—I never go to Starbucks when I'm at home or have a choice, but I flock to it when I'm out of the country. They must have a deep psychological hold on me. The coffee's never that great, and the baristas never know what they're doing, but it's consistently disappointing and that's what I count on. AFI had a four hour rehearsal today in some warehouse on a soundstage. We haven't really played a show in a while and our crew needed to run through everything, plus it was good for us to run over the songs again. I sang all my usual backgrounds and harmonies, and by the second time through the set, my throat was raw. I guess I'm out of practice. For the record, I'm over shouting. It really just hurts, and never sounds that great. My favorite vocals are the harmonies on Summer Shudder and the ooohs during the intro and re-intro on Missing Frame. Two of my favorite basses from the last tour cycle need neck/fret work and I am playing my old back up bass for the show tomorrow. I don't like it as much because it's a bit on the heavy side, but it still sounds great. Fender makes some great basses. I'm designing some new ones for after we start touring for real and I'm really excited about those. Nothing crazy...just cool colors. Tomorrow should be fun. It's been so long since we've played a show (KROQ's xmas show doesn't count because our set was so short) that even if it totally sucks, it will still be fun. I'm kinda hungry. I should have bought some chips or a clif bar when I had the chance. I think the rain stopped. I forgot to see if the show is indoors or outdoors. I suppose it doesn't matter. The stage is always covered. It's weird, I can't really remember that last time I was nervous before a show. I know I was nervous when we played Just Like Heaven during the soundcheck for the MTV Icon: The Cure show, but that's because we were playing TO The Cure. I was probably nervous in my earlier AFI days when I was the new guy. I had to learn 15 songs in a month and then play in front of thousands of people with one of my favorite bands. The catch was—these were thousands of Offspring fans, not AFI fans, so I was too busy trying to win them over to be nervous. Did we win over any of their fans? I'd like to think so. I still run into people all the time that tell me that their first AFI show was on that tour. This was back in May, 1997. I turned 21 in the middle of the tour. L7 was on that tour too. They called themselves our moms on stage. It was really an amazing experience to play such huge shows at that point in my life. There were many years of crappy shows and long van tours after that, so it was an unusual way to start a career with AFI...but I like to think that it has come full circle. In more recent years, we've headlined some of the venues from my first tour. Time is a funny thing.

I feel like this isn't boring enough, and I apologize. The casual tone is working for me, but my thoughtless rambling seems to drift toward interesting things from the past. Let me try to focus on more mundane things from the present.

My phone is always set to vibrate. It's been like that for years. It always surprises me when it gets turned off of vibrate by mistake and I actually hear it ring. About a year ago, I set the ringtone to "motorcycle" which sounds like vibrating. Problem solved. Tonight I watched the Wolverine movie. I didn't see it when it came out because everyone said it was so bad. Rottentomatoes.com gave it an 8 or something horrible like that. I think everyone, including myself, was expecting something truly awesome. I walked in tonight expecting something truly sucky. It wasn't totally horrible, and since my expectations were so low, I kinda liked it. The writing was awful though. The lighting and SFX were so weird in the New Orleans fight scene that it took me out of the element. I think they tried too hard to put a bunch of actors and characters into the movie and just lost sight of what makes a good action movie. The popcorn sucked. I need to stop eating it. I never enjoy it. At least I stopped drinking soda a few years back. If I had soda tonight I would certainly feel awful right now. I'm excited to see the guys from Rise Against tomorrow. They're close friends and are passing through while on tour with Rancid. Joe Principe shares my love for coffee and we never miss a chance to get lattes. I can't wait to see them play in a couple weeks in LA. It's awesome to see your friends' bands doing so well.

Come on...not boring enough!

I guess I should probably try to sleep. I don't have to be up early, but uninterrupted sleep is always the best, and those pesky hotel maids are always trying to break in and clean in the morning. I'm so glad I don't have to take time to wash and style my hair anymore. What a waste of time that was! If only I could have all that time back. I would have so much time on my hands! I could write a thousand blogs. It's raining again. Maybe it was always raining, but I just couldn't hear it. Okay, it's bed time for me. Blogger out.

Wow! That was boooooooring! I hope I never try that again! Casual rambling blogs might be fun to read, but they sure are boring to write! Until next time, Tranq out.

P.S. Which of the following should I do next? Another Psychedelic Photo blog? Horse Blog Vol. 2? A semi-irregular, Tranquil Mammoth multi-lingual statistic blog? Maybe another Tranquil Mammoth Challenge of 2009 like Horses vs. Fugazi?? Leave me a comment and let me know which of those you'd like to see.

I eat your horse!

2009-06-17T01:42:00.000-07:00

I know you probably think that I've completely neglected this blog, and in a way you are correct. The truth is, I've been writing a lot, but not on a computer. I've gone old school. Notebooks. I am working on something big, and I will tell you more about it later. For now, I hope you accept this picture as a peace offering. I know it's an old picture you may have seen before, but I still think it's funny.

P.S. I never blogged about the great loss we suffered. RIP Bea Arthur. Thank you for being a friend. Bea has been and will continue to be an important part of my blog.

Bummo KISS

2009-06-08T02:27:00.000-07:00

This is my concept sketch for a new member of KISS. It's a KISSafied cross between Emmett Kelly's Weary Willie and Pete the pup that Joe McGrath named "Bummo." I was going to dress up exactly like this and approach Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley when they were recording next door. I was hoping that they would accept me as a new member/character of KISS. I was even willing to be flexible about what instrument Bummo would play. Washboard? Cowbell? Synthesizer? This was my best career plan yet...until Gene and Paul ate our Uncle Eddie's* Vegan Cookies without asking. I changed my mind after that. As a result, the world will never get to see Bummo in real life. ;(

*Not to be confused with this Uncle Eddie.

Hunter Burgan Q&A part 7 (of 7)

2009-04-18T07:42:00.000-07:00

I now present you with the seventh and final Q&A* vlog in a series of seven.

LIGHTNING ROUND!

Now I can finally get back to regular blogs and videos! Let the normalcy commence!!

*Quak&r oAts

It's getting kinda muggy in here...

2009-04-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

I know you want this mug! How can I be so sure? Well, I want this mug, and since we think alike, it's only logical that you would also want this mug.

"Coffee should be
black as love,
strong as hell,
& sweet as death."
-Hunter Burgan

So go get this mug! Mother's Day is coming up!

P.S. The next vlog is coming verrrrrrrrry soon.

Hunter Burgan Q&A part 6 (of 7)

2009-04-14T16:27:00.000-07:00

Dear readers, I now present to you the sixth part of the seven part Q&A* vlog. This one is highly anticipated, although that's only due to the fact that I've been too busy to upload it. Since National Reggae Awareness Year is coming up (2010), I've been spending most of my time trying to dread my hair. I've also been taking helicopter lessons. Not helicopter flying lessons, helicopter lessons.

When you're done watching this, and all my other videos, read some of my older blog entries. Long before I was a vlogger, I used to actually write words!

*Queen and Aerosmith

Hunter Burgan Q&A part 5 (of 7)

2009-04-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

I now present you with the fifth Q&A* vlog in a series of seven. Since the apocalypse is on its way, let me waste no time in giving you your instructions.

You have until midnight to do the following:
1. Watch it in HQ. (HQ is French for "high quality")
2. Subscribe to the channel.
3. Check your email.
4. Eat a sandwich.
5. Tell 5 people about my blog/videos/twitter. Who? People that don't know about my blog.
6. Watch the other videos again. They're even better the second, third, or twelfth time!

I know you can do it! Don't let me down, or you'll be letting the earth and the moon down! Be brave and bold!

*Quarktoplax and Alphatine

Hunter Burgan Q&A part 4 (of 7)

2009-04-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

I now present you with the fourth Q&A* vlog in a series of seven. Thanks for your patience. We (AFI) have been at our busiest this week and all my attention has been focused on our record. Well...except for when I made Broken Glass Everywhere.

By now you know the drill: watch the video in High Quality, subscribe to my channel, and tell your friends about it. Here's an idea...don't just tell them about it, SHOW it to them! Maybe if I get a million views I can sell ad space and pay off my student loans. Tell all your mammalian friends!

*Quality and Action

Hunter Burgan Q&A part 3 (of 7)

2009-04-01T02:21:00.000-07:00

I now present you with the third installment of my Q&A* vlogs. Has anyone noticed that they keep getting longer? Am I losing anyone here? I can always edit them down a bit. Let me know. I hope everyone is thoroughly entertained by these. Remember, these are your questions...I merely attempted to answer them. AFI is really hitting it hard in the studio right now, trying to get our record done, so you'll have to excuse my lack of writing/blogging. Just in case no one told you (although I doubt this is the case), you are invited and encouraged to follow me on Twitter. That's where I do the majority of my pointless, random, self-aggrandizing, laconic rambling.

Three things I want you to do:
1. As always, watch this video in High Quality. I shot and edited it in High Quality, so why would you want to see a different version of lesser quality? It just doesn't make sense.
2. Subscribe to my youtube channel. I might not always post every video on my blog or even tweet about it. If you want first dibs on watching my videos, subscribe.
3. Tell your friends about my youtube channel and of course, Tranquil Mammoth. The more people that read, watch, and enjoy what I do, the more I am incentivized to continue to do this stuff. I'm not sure why this is, but I'm sure it has to do with megalomania or egotism. Either way, we both win!

*Quips and Absurdities

Hunter Burgan Q&A part 2 (of 7)

2009-03-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

I now present you with the second Q&A* vlog. As I mentioned before, I will upload a new part every few days, so check back often! As usual, I dare you to watch the video in high quality...it greatly improves the viewing experience. Tabby really comes to life in high quality.

Thank you for the questions. I hope you enjoy the answers!

-Hunter

*Quetzalcóatl and Aztecs? Quakes and Avalanches? Quads and Abs? kyoōˈ ən āˈ?

Hunter Burgan Q&A part 1 (of 7)

2009-03-27T18:16:00.000-07:00

I now present you with the first Q&A* vlog. I looked over every single question that you submitted (except the ones that violated the rules) and I answered as many as I could. Suddenly I found myself with over an hour of video to edit! So, rather than cheat you out of content, I decided to cut the Q&A* into seven parts. I will upload a new part every few days, so check back often! I dare you to watch the video in high quality...it greatly improves the viewing experience.

Thank you for the questions. I hope you enjoy the answers!

-Hunter

*Quotes and Articulations? Quivers and Arrows? Quick and Agile? Quack and Arf?

Question Authority

2009-03-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

It's question time again!

Ok...last time I asked you to make up "How do I _____?" questions knowing very well that I would not be answering them. I received many great questions and the "something" that I'm working on is a little bit better now because of your questions. Thank you! I feel a little guilty though. Although I specifically stated that I would not be answering your questions, I still feel like you, dear readers, deserve to have a few questions answered. So...

This time around I want to answer some of your questions!

Here are my conditions:
1. Only one question per person, so choose wisely. Don't ask something that has already been asked.
2. You must submit your question as a comment to this blog entry between 12pm PT and 6pm PT on Friday, March 20, 2009. Questions posted before noon or after six pm pacific time today will not be considered. No exceptions. I'm sorry if you miss the window.
3. I will try to answer as many questions as possible, but I reserve the right to not answer questions that I feel are inappropriate. I might not know the answer to some questions, and other I might not legally or morally be able to answer, so once again, choose wisely.
4. Be creative. I am more likely to pick fun, smart, unique questions.
5. I might just not pick your question for no reason. Don't cry if your question gets overlooked. I'd like to keep this fun and hopefully we can do this more often.
6. Much of the information relating to the upcoming AFI album is either a secret or just simply unknown. Please understand and respect this when composing your question. The same applies to the moon.
7. I will not answer questions from "Anonymous". Since all "Anonymous" comments look like they're coming from the same user, I have no way of know if they are coming from unique people or not. So...DON'T anonymously ask your question.

Oh did I mention?
I'm going to answer these via video!
Now go out there and fight!!

Tomorrow Evening

2009-03-10T18:48:00.000-07:00

Clear your calendars! Tomorrow evening I will be on DJ Rossstar's Punk Rock Show, 7pm PT on Stickam.com
It's free. Meet me on the the internet. Wear a carnation so I'll recognize you...I'll be the guy in the mask. Later we can all go and eat burritos.

They Live!

2009-03-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it! The Hunter, brought to you by Macbeth and yours truly is now available at Journeys.com as well as select Journey's retail locations!!! They live! In the midst of all this excitement, I look across the internet and I see a puzzled look on your face. I immediately know what you're thinking:

"But Hunter, which locations?"

To answer this question as precisely as possible, I am providing you with a list of all the select locations. Just right click or download or super-size (or something) this file:

SELECT JOURNEY'S RETAIL LOCATIONS

I've been told that if I can't sell enough pairs of The Hunter through Journey's that it may not live to see the leaves change on the trees this Autumn. How sad! That's all these shoes ever wanted! (They also wanted to be the most badass bulletproof vegan high top that ever existed, but that wish was granted the day they were created.) The Hunter needs your help to make its dreams a reality. (That last sentence sounds really weird to me, but oh well.)
So...to quote the Bally's classic pinball machine, Eight Ball Deluxe,

"Quit talkin' and start chalkin'."

Bass Blogger

2009-03-07T16:42:00.001-08:00

Now there are two of us.

How Do I _____?

2009-02-27T09:38:00.000-08:00

Hello, dear readers.
I'm working on something right now and I need everyone's help.
What can you do to help?
You can help by leaving me a comment that asks how to do something.
Here's are some examples:

How do I change a flat tire?
How do I break out of prison?
How do I make a vegan quiche?

You can ask as many as you like.
Feel free to get as creative as you want.
I'm looking for simple yet creative questions.

Note: I will not be answering your question, so don't direct the question at me.

Thanks everyone,
Hunter

Camping With The Dad From Silver Spoons

2009-02-25T00:58:00.000-08:00

If I had to pick six people to bring with me on a camping trip, the dad from Silver Spoons would be my first choice. My other picks would be: Gumby, a drunken cowboy, a jockey, and a non-threatening mummy. I also would bring a cartoon robot, even if it counted as one of my people. If the cartoon robot didn't count as one of my picks, then I would bring an animatronic cat from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. They love the outdoors and are immune to poison oak. I can't wait until Summer!!! I'm really looking forward to going hiking and swimming. In the evening we can sit around the campfire and tell ghost stories. I bet the jockey will have quite a few! We will sing songs like "Careless Whisper" and roast some of these! This Summer is going to be great, just spending time with good friends and ol' mother nature.

"Hey the dad from Silver Spoons, will you help me look for more firewood?"

Which six people would YOU pick to go camping with?

Update 2-22 at 2:22 PM

2009-02-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

Hunter Revenge @ Cinespace on 2/1/09 by Carlton Beener
Okay, I lied about the date and time of this update, but I'm close enough. Two twenty-two at two twenty-two PM is the funniest time of the year (it's a proven fact that 22 is the funniest number) and I if I had not been laughing hysterically, I surely would have written this blog at that exact minute. So what has been going on? Let's make a list.

1. NAMM - In January, I took a trip down to Anaheim to attend the 2009 NAMM show. NAMM is a four day music gear blast that is the Comic-Con of gear nerds. To say that it is HUUUUUGE would be an understatement. Every company that makes any type of anything that's even remotely related to the idea of music is represented. I was asked to sign autographs for Ampeg. While I was there I ran into Tim from Rancid, Geoff from Tiger Army, Maya from The Donnas and a few other friends. I talked to bassist Tony Levin about photography (he carries a camera around his neck and takes pictures all the time, even on stage!) and even snapped a psychedelic picture of Mick Mars. Thanks to @flavapave for the software!

2. The Hunter - My new Macbeth shoe, The Hunter is available now! Order it online now, or wait another week and walk into Journey's to buy a pair. Your feet will thank you!

3. HR Show - On Feb 1st, Hunter Revenge played a very focused set in Hollywood, CA at a little place called Cinespace. We had a lot of fun, as we always do. Everyone who showed up had fun too. See how this works? Anyhow, this will be the last Hunter Revenge show until I have new songs to play. I love playing the old stuff, but it would be so much cooler to play new songs. I will have updates about the new songs soon. Keep your ears open.

4. Shorty Awards - You can read the post below to hear about my trip to NYC to accept the music Shorty at the Shorty Awards.

5. Grocery Shopping - I bought some cereal, rice dream, two frozen burritos, new english muffins (from New England), soups, soaps, and broccoli.

6. President's Day - AKA The Place Where I Wanted To Get An Awesome Vegan Burrito Was Closed And I Had To Settle For A Frozen Burrito Day.

7. Begin Transmission! - The winners of AFI's Begin Transmission contest joined us in the studio! As it turns out, Natacia, Raine, Mark, Courtney, Brock and Christy were all very good singers and really helped us out. It was really refreshing to have people in the studio that haven't heard the new songs 87652348 times already. After so much build up and excitement, the time really flew by and before I knew it, AFI's new friends (and their guests) were on their way home. I hope everyone made it home safely and I look forward to seeing these new friends in the future. Apparently Natacia and Christy commemorated the experience with BEGIN TRANSMISSION tattoos. How cool is that!?

8. Mammoth Regeneration - Yesterday at 3:30 AM I began the first of several mammoth cloning/regeneration experiments. My goal is to be the first person to successfully regenerate a mammoth. At 3:45 AM I realized that this was going to be more difficult than I first thought, due to the fact that I have no mammoth DNA. I consider this a minor setback. This week I'm going to head down to the La Brea tar pits, hop a fence or two, and "find" some mammoth samples. Wish me luck.

Shorty Awards!

2009-02-15T02:05:00.000-08:00

Posing with my Shorty Award.

A few days ago I had the honor of receiving a Shorty Award in the Music category. The Shorty Awards recognize those individuals who have expert-level mastery (or just plain obsessive use) of Twitter. The prize included a free trip to NYC and a chance to mix n' mingle with other Twitter savvy folks. CNN's Rick Sanchez hosted the event, and MC Hammer presented some of the awards (including mine) alongside Rick. I had a great time and met a lot of really cool people, many of whom I hope to stay in touch with. Highlights of the trip include getting a personal tour of the Marvel Comics Headquarters (thanks, Agent M!!), hanging out with my oldest and dearest friend Greg and his wife Laura (Thanks again for putting me up), and of course hanging out with MC Hammer. More can be read about this event here, here, here, and here. (and also here)
Thanks to Kelly and Daniela for the pictures!

Hammer and Hunter - U Can't Touch This!

I tapped the mic to prove once and for all that the feedback you ALWAYS hear in movies when people step up to the podium doesn't really happen! It's a fallacy!

Two dapper lads: Greg Martin (my BFF of nearly 30 years) and myself.

Charles Trippy and myself. He won the Shorty for Humor.

Accepting my Shorty.

CNN's Rick Sanchez and myself.

Hammer and Rick Sanchez laugh at my jokes (or at my expense!)

Hammer apologizing for joking at my expense. Don't worry, Hammer. It's all good.

Look! My first Shorty! (the gentleman behind me is obviously jealous)

Like I said in my acceptance speech: "Thanks 2 everyone who nominated/voted for me; my friends, fans & followers; readers of tranquilmammoth.com; & especially all the @AFI fans." Follow me on twitter and maybe next year YOU'LL be meeting MC Hammer!

Tranq Rating

2009-02-04T16:42:00.000-08:00

Some of you, may have noticed I added a "Tranq Rating" to the bottom of each post. This enables you, dear readers, to tell me if you think my post rules the Tundra :) or belongs in a Tar Pit :(. Hopefully this will help me determine what type of content to create in the future.

Give it a try!

Shirt and Shoes Required!

2009-02-04T09:23:00.000-08:00

If you like t-shirts, then you'll love this one. It's made out of nice soft cotton (the kind the Olsen twins love) and features a scrambled version of the artwork that is inside my new Macbeth vegan shoe, The Hunter. You can order the shirt HERE. Oh, and guess what I just realized...
You can apparently order my new shoe, The Hunter, now too! Click here! It's totally vegan and totally available in men's sizes 5-13. Please do your best to ignore the rampant misspellings you may encounter while ordering my shirt or shoes. I lose sleep over these things, but it doesn't seem to help. I simply don't have the time to correct spelling errors all over the internet.

Good buy.
Goodbye.

Hunter joins Buzznet!

2009-02-03T09:43:00.000-08:00

As if there wasn't already enough Hunter Burgan on the internet! I mean seriously! Haven't you had enough already!? If the answer is "NO!" and you want to see the overdose of photos and videos that I will be posting on Buzznet, then click on over!* If you're a Buzznet member, befriend me! If you're Rachel McAdams, befriend me!

There's a good chance you will find things there that you won't find anywhere else on the internet (read: exclusive) and maybe that's for the best! ;/
You be the judge!

*If the answer is "Yes!", then do nothing.

Hunter Revenge show? YES!

2009-01-29T20:27:00.000-08:00

Get there before 10:30 PM!
Be over 18 years old!
Bring your handclaps!
See Hunter Revenge play like never before in 2009!!!!

Sizzling guitar solos!
Cataclysmic keyboard licks!
Moon shattering keyboard licks!
Thumping drum beats!
Sticky sweet vocals!
Bass!

The Olsen twins will be there!*
Winston Churchill will be there!*
CGI Doves will be there!*
Will you be there?

Club info here.

*Will not actually be there.

Horses vs. Fugazi

2009-01-21T23:00:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, I am a fan of horses. While they are not my favorite animal (that title remains with the mammoth), horses are still unarguably great. So I thought, why not put them up up against something else unarguably great...like Fugazi. So, for the first Tranquil Mammoth Challenge of 2009, I've pitted beast against band. Let's see who comes out on top.

	Horses	Fugazi
Date of Origin	Horses were probably first domesticated between 4,500 and 2,500 BC.	Fugazi's lineup solidified in late 1987.
Place of Origin	Earth	Washington DC, Earth
Evolution	DNA evidence shows modern horses are descended from not one but several wild populations.	After Minor Threat broke up, Ian MacKaye played in several groups before starting a new band with Colin Sears and Joe Lally. Sears was soon replaced by Brendan Canty. Guy Picciotto, who had been in Rites of Spring with Canty, joined as a second vocalist after his band, Happy Go Licky broke up. Picciotto began playing second guitar before their first album, Repeater was recorded in 1989.
Selected Discography	Despite thousands of albums with 'horse' in the title or band name, no horses have ever recorded any music on their own.	EPs 7 Songs (1988) Margin Walker (1989) LPs 13 Songs (complilation of the two EPs above) (1989) Repeater (1990) Steady Diet of Nothing (1991) In on the Kill Taker (1993) Red Medicine (1995) End Hits (1998) Instrument Soundtrack (1999) The Argument (2001)
Propensity for violence	Stallions will often challenge and fight other stallions, often if a mare is present.	Fugazi discourages violence and violent dancing at their shows.
Quantity	Experts estimate that there are more than 75,000,000 horses in existence.	There is only one Fugazi.
Strength	Horses are very strong. I personally estimate their strength to be roughly 1 hp (horsepower) or 33,000 ft·lbf/min.	Trouser Press describes Fugazi as "a knuckle sandwich made with nine-grain bread, building strong minds and bodies with rattling guitar power."
Height	Measured in hands: This horse is 15 hands high!	Measured in inches: This Fugazi record is a 12"!
Live Performance	Horses star in horse racing, dressage, eventing, show jumping, and rodeo as well as films and tv shows. Their performances range from utilitarian to beautifully graceful to exhilarating.	Fugazi concerts are exciting, engaging and memorable.
Merchandise	Many products are derived (extorted) from horses, including meat, milk, hide, hair, bone, and pharmaceuticals extracted from the urine of pregnant mares.	"Merchandise keeps us in line Common sense says it's by design What could a businessman ever want more than to have us sucking in his store"
Speed	The average horse gallop is 25 to 30 miles (40 to 48 km) per hour.	Some Fugazi songs exceed 200 beats per minute, although their average song tempo is much slower.
Food	Horses are herbivores.	Fugazi's members are all reportedly vegan/vegetarian.
Water	You can theoretically lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.	"One drink of water and I'm drowning"
Meaning of Name	I'm pretty sure it stands for 'Hold On, Ride Solid, Equus', although I may have just made this up.	From Mark Baker's Nam, a compilation of stories of Vietnam War veterans, where it used as a backronym for 'Fucked Up, Got Ambushed, Zipped In'.
Current Status	Horses are currently everywhere, eating.	Fugazi is currently on an indefinite hiatus.
Total	9	9

It looks like the first Tranquil Mammoth Challenge of 2009 has resulted in a tie, and I'm not surprised. Both Horses and Fugazi have proven themselves to be truly great. Send me some suggestions for the next Tranquil Mammoth Challenge of 2009.

Win with Macbeth, Peta2, and Tranquil Mammoth!

2009-01-20T08:50:00.000-08:00

WIN! WIN! WIN!
Do you want to win a pair of my new Macbeth shoes ("The Hunter") and an iPod Nano loaded with a bunch of music that I have personally selected? I sure would like to win that stuff! Unfortunately for me, I'm not allowed to enter, but you probably are! Click on the picture above to visit the Peta2 site and enter. This ends February 2, 2009, so get going! Waste no time!

Also, read more vegan ramblings by yours truly at: macbeth.com/vegan

The New Look & Feel

2009-01-16T12:18:00.000-08:00

I think this picture is worth at least 1000 words. This is a shot of the sunrise through my window last week when I stayed up all night watching Begin Transmission videos. (Congrats to Natacia! I'll see you soon!)
Would you believe that this picture really does no justice to the breathtaking beauty of the sunrise that morning?

Also, take a look at the new look and feel of Tranquil Mammoth. What do you think? I decided that I needed to change it up for 2009. I always strive to be at the forefront of style and sophistication, so why should my blog be an exception?

Ok...this short blog has come to an end.

Midnight Update!

2009-01-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

I've noticed that because I update so much on Twitter, I haven't been including much about what I've been up to in my blog entries. Subconsciously I'm trying to avoid being redundant, but I guess there's no shame in redundancy. I mean, after all, it's the internet; it's already redundant!

Here are 12 FACTS about what I've been up to lately:
(in no particular order)

FACT 1: I have been appointed as Vegan Ambassador for Macbeth Footwear. Read about it here, and here. Also, check out some pictures that Ryan Russell took of me here.

FACT 2: I had a "white" x-mas, meaning that huge snow flakes were falling from the sky when I woke up on December 25, 2008. I was in Grass Valley, and in Grass Valley that kind of weather is not unheard of, or undreamt of.

FACT 3: AFI played KROQ's "Almost Acoustic Christmas" on December 13, 2008. On our final song, "Love Like Winter," I mashed my knee up. I have since recovered.

FACT 4: I saw The Cure play at the Troubador on December 13, and at the Gibson Arena on December 14, both 2008. I love The Cure. I finally met Robert.

FACT 5: Hunter Revenge played at Cinespace on December 21, 2008. Since my usual keyboardist, Dan Kelly, was unable to play (due some sort of family reunion), I had, for the first time ever, two keyboardists on stage to replace him. Missed it? Come see Hunter Revenge play Cinespace AGAIN on February 1, 2009. I'll provide more information about this in the future.

FACT 6: I grew a "holiday beard" and eventually shaved that damn thing off. Beards are for Rip Van Winkles.

FACT 7: I did not get engaged. Google it.

FACT 8: I have a new shoe coming out in February, 2009. It's called "The Hunter" and is 100% vegan. It's also 10,000,000% awesome. Take a look at it here before you order 6 pairs. Yes, the shoes are bulletproof. No, I haven't actually tested them against bullets. Would you like to? "For this next trick I'll need a volunteer from the audience..."

FACT 9: While in the studio, working on AFI's eighth studio album, I recorded twelve tracks of bass on a single song. That being said, I feel I must clarify that at most, there are no more than three distinct performances at any given moment in the song. Also, technically three of the tracks are baritone guitar, doubling my bass line. I still think this qualifies me for some type of award. Excessive Bassist of the Year?

FACT 10: Speaking of awards, I was successfully nominated for two Shorty Awards. One of the categories (#awesome) isn't an official category, but still quite awesome. Go vote for me in the other category, #music: http://shortyawards.com/user/TranquilMammoth I need your votes to win! Voting ends January 23, 2009.

FACT 11: Joe Principe (of Rise Against fame) and I are having a conversation right now about how to make bass the "it" instrument for 2009. Kids all over the world should (and will) want to play bass above all other instruments. Ever hear of Bass Hero™? Well maybe somebody will invent that once they catch on to what's happening.

If you're asking yourself, "Where's the 12th fact, Hunter?" then I'm asking you this: Why are you calling yourself Hunter? Is it your name too? (I'll admit that Hunter is a pretty strange name to call yourself, even if it IS your name.) The answer is this: In 2009, numbers don't matter as much as they did in 2008. Think way back to the baker's dozen. I'm not sure what year that was invented, but I can tell you that twelve equalled thirteen that year! Be happy with eleven.

Now quit reading this and go give blood!

2009 New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-10T09:00:00.000-08:00

Now that all my bass parts have been recorded for the upcoming AFI record, and I have finally finished watching all of the Begin Transmission video submissions, I had a chance to finish up my list of resolutions for the new year.

TRANQUIL MAMMOTH'S
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
FOR 2009
1. Blog More Often - I have a tendency to write long blogs, and that takes time. In 2009, I resolve to also write shorter, more frequent blogs as well. Sometimes a good picture is enough. Pictures = 1000 words, right?

2. Join A Celebrity Gym - Since my body is somewhere between Beaker and Bubbles De Vere (both celebrities), I naturally feel like I should join a celebrity gym where I can run on the treadmill next to people like Phil Collins and Bea Arthur. In a celebrity gym, this would be possible. I would to be able to ask Michael "Biv" Bivins or Conan O'Brien if they will spot me. "Hey Neil Patrick Harris, are you done with those 75 lb. dumbells?" I would look over when I'm on the eliptical and see David Bowie working up a sweat. George Michael, would have a fresh towel for me to borrow, and Jeff Garlin (well he should be there) would let me borrow some coins for the vending machine. On another day, I'd see the Olsen twins and Steve Martin working on their abs with one of those inflatable balls. I'd see Snoop Doggy Dogg and Stevie Wonder on the (tandem) exercycle, and the dad from Silver Spoons working those glutes. I'd also see Bruce Lee somehow. Yes, in 2009, I resolve to join a celebrity gym if only for the chance to see these people, and the many other celebrities that I haven't mentioned in my blog over the years.

3. Learn Latin

4. Quit Smocking - Before you jump at the chance to correct my typo (it's not a typo) or yell at me for smoking (I don't smoke) I'd like to send you HERE. Can you believe how many people misspell smoking? Typos bother me, but misspelled words drive me up the wall! This isn't really a resolution- or is it? In 2009, I resolve to triple spell check EVERYTHING I write, including text messages. You should too.

5. Clean Out The Spare Closet - I have a spare closet that is filled with things I couldn't possibly use. Things like The Force's Complete Discography on 12" vinyl. In 2009, I resolve to get rid of these things at any cost, even if it means selling them on ebay. Wait! That's it! In 2009, I resolve to sell a bunch of stuff on ebay! Stayed tuned for details!!

6. Go Even Greener - In 2006 we saw An Inconvenient Truth and it freaked us out. We panicked, and started recycling and carpooling, but eventually we forgot about greenhouse gasses. In 2007, the Live Earth Concerts reminded us that our carbon footprint needed to be smaller (or nonexistent) and we freaked out again. We brought our own bags to the grocery store, traded our SUVs for Priuses and even thought about solar panels, but eventually we forgot about saving the planet. In 2008, gas prices soared so high that we ditched our cars and took the bus, or the train, or a bike, or even our feet. Companies started responding to the consumers' need for "green" versions of existing products. We made more steps in the right direction, but we keep running into the same problem: when we don't notice immediate changes, we give up and our efforts fade into history. In 2009, I resolve to continue to modify my lifestyle to better preserve the planet for future generations. Going green isn't something you do once. It's not a light bulb you buy, it's a change you make in your lifestyle and in the way you think.

So that's my list. What are your resolutions for the year 2009?

****UPDATE!!!! JANUARY 10, 2009 3:40 PM****
7. Learn The Guitar Solo From Skid Row's "I Remember You" - I forgot to add this very important one. It was early and I hadn't had any coffee yet. ~~Dave "The Snake" Sabo~~ Scotti Hill. Pinch harmonics. Bends. Palm mutes. Hammer-ons. Pull-offs. Dives. This one has it all! In 2008, I resolved to learn the solo from Aerosmith's "Angel" and in 2009, it will be Skid Row's "I Remember You."

Animal Fighting - the blog

2009-01-01T22:53:00.000-08:00

While trying to make a list of New Year's Resolutions, I decided to waste time with a completely unrelated list.

Five Animals I Wouldn't Want To Fight
(and how I would fight them if I had to)
Before I begin, I'd like to stress that as a vegan and animal lover, there are almost no circumstances under which I would ever harm a living creature. The following situations and techniques are for the exception to that rule. These are to be assumed as "life or death" situations.

1. Grizzly Bear - Since most bears can outrun any human (even Carl Lewis) and they typically disembowel their victims, the key to fighting a grizzly bear is to distract it, then incapacitate it. To distract it, I would employ the use of a laser. No laser pointer or laser sight is enough to do the trick, however. I'm talking about a laser light show. Pink Floyd style. I seem to recall seeing a travel size version of this at Guitar Center. Don't correct me if I'm wrong. Once the bear is distracted, I would knock it on the head with a bowling ball. A 14 lb. ball (or heavier) will do the trick. Don't go into battle with one of those hot pink 8 lb. balls they have at the bowling alley unless you want your guts spread all around the forest. One or two hits to the head should be enough to render the bear unconscious. Remember, I'm not trying to kill the poor creature, just protect myself from imminent death.

2. Shark - Once a shark gets a taste of your blood, it will eat you. That's just a fact. Make a note to never serve hors d'oeuvres made from your own blood at a party that sharks will be attending. Since the vast majority of shark fights take place underwater, let's assume that for my shark fight, I'm also underwater. Let's also assume that I'm wearing military grade scuba gear. The gear would of course be state of the art and I would look really good wearing it (I'm hoping I will get some sort of scuba gear sponsorship out of this.) Now on to the fight. Sharks are just mouths that can swim, but those mouths are filled with thousands of razor sharp teeth. I imagine that (once again, don't correct me if I'm wrong) with enough peanut butter, you could make the shark's mouth stick together. It would take more than just a jar of Skippy and a spoon though. I would need something that sprays a high volume of peanut butter at a high velocity underwater. We'll call this device the Peanut Blaster™. (If any food-weaponry companies out there want to manufacture the Peanut Blaster™, get in touch with my lawyer and we'll work something out. I have detailed schematics in my head.) A shark fight is that simple. I'll blast the shark in the mouth with the Peanut Blaster™ set to "stun" and then swim away in my new scuba gear.

3. Tyrannosaurus Rex - Fighting a T. Rex requires encountering one, and that requires owning a time machine, which I do. However, I think this unique set of circumstances raises the question, "Why fight a T. Rex when you could just travel to a time of obvious safety instead?" Normally I would do just that, travel forward or backward through time to avoid a T. Rex fight. But what if the time machine was damaged by a clumsy Diplodocus? I would have no other choice than to fight a T. Rex if cornered. Since T. Rexes' teeth can crush bone, and they have binocular vision, comparable or better than modern hawks, I would have to avoid being seen in order to avoid being eaten. I would quickly dress in camouflage to avoid being seen. I prefer pink and grey camouflage if available, since it's a fact that all dinosaurs are color blind (okay, it's not a fact, it's my theory.) Then I would sneak up behind the T. Rex and, with a jack hammer, break one of his tibias before he is able to turn around. T. Rexes are notoriously slow at turning around. Hopefully this would buy enough time to fix my time machine. If not, I would resort to blinding him with the Peanut Blaster™.

4. Lion - Lions are the rightful kings of the jungle, and I would never attempt to fight a king in his own kingdom. So let's just say, for the sake of this blog, that the lion is in my kitchen. Normally I would use a similar technique for lions, tigers and bears- the laser/bowling ball combo. Since you've already heard me explain that one, I'll illustrate another technique. I call this one Plan B. Plan B consists of two things: 1. The element of surprise, and 2. Piping hot soup. I always keep a a large (but light-weight) cauldron of piping hot soup in my kitchen, usually split pea, or some type of vegan bisque. In order to surprise the lion, I will need to do something it would never expect. First I would turn my stereo on full blast. Lenny Kravitz's "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" is the song of choice when fighting lions. The intensity of Lenny's guitar riff during the intro might be enough to surprise the lion, but I wouldn't stop there. Next I would turn off all the lights except for the strobe light above the stove. While the lion is recovering from this confusing change of scene, I would knock over the cauldron of soup, effectively covering the floor, making it hot and slippery. Finally, I would swing down from atop the fridge on a rope made of hemp and kick the lion back into a pit. If you're going to try this technique at home (which I highly recommend) you may want to dig a pit in your kitchen like I have. Taking care of this in advance will ensure that you are ready for almost any wild mammal attacks in your home. I have covered my pit with a few leafy branches and most days I don't even notice it.

5. Cobra - Can you outrun a cobra? My guess is no. Even if you're fast, eventually you may have to fight a cobra. Here's what I would do if I had to fight one. First I would check to see if it's a spitting cobra. Spitting (like yawning) is contagious. Pay close attention to the dugout at a professional baseball game for an example of this phenomenon. If I spit over to my right and the cobra does nothing, I know it's safe to approach with a hockey stick covered in molasses. Cobras love molasses (as always, don't correct me if I'm wrong) and will be trying to lick the hockey stick the whole time I'm pummeling the poor creature. Case closed. However, if I spit over to the right and the cobra spits over to its right, I know I've got a spitting cobra on my hands and all bets are off. The Peanut Blaster™ is useless against snakes, as are most soups and strobes. Lasers are mildly effective, but require precise positioning, which is often hard to do with little or no time in such a stressful situation. Your best bet, and what I would do, is quickly build a fire. Snakes hate fire (as demonstrated in Indiana Jones films) and will either retreat to look for supplies to make smores, or become aggressively hostile. If the latter is the case, I would let the cobra chase me into a hall of mirrors. Cobras may be deadly, but they're not that smart. I'm sure I could trick the cobra into attacking my reflection enough times that it would eventually grow weary and give up.

Hopefully we will all be lucky enough to never have to fight these animals. Normally this is where you would find a legal disclaimer, warning you to never fight animals and to never use my techniques. You'll find no disclaimer here, just this warning: If you happen to find yourself face to face with one of these formidable creatures and DO NOT use my techniques, you're as good as dead, and I will not visit your grave!

Goodbye 2008! Hello "Top 10" lists!

2008-12-30T23:36:00.000-08:00

With the very predictable end of 2008 comes the very unpredictable "TOP 10 of 2008" lists by yours truly, Hunter Burgan.

Top 10 Films I Saw in 2008:
(in no alphabetical order)
1. The Dark Knight - Sure, Heath Ledger was great, but let's not overlook the ridiculous undertaking of using mostly practical effects! and filming in IMAX!? Christopher Nolan is a genius. This is how Batman is supposed to be. Christian Bale is great too.
2. Step Brothers - This film was a test to see how long you can run with a pretty stupid premise before it becomes boring or played out. Will Farrell and John C. Reilly pass this test with flying colors!
3. Burn After Reading - A fun romp of a dark comedy with great characters, as usual. The Coen Brothers are a team that I'd like to be a part of, somehow. Can we make this happen?
4. Cloverfield - I thought this film was really cleverly written. The "found video camera" storytelling format is probably one of the hardest formats to write for that I can think of right now. Perhaps writing an upbeat animated adventure about genocide would be harder.
5. Son of Rambow - This film reminds me of myself when I was younger. I was always making epic movies with my parents' video camera.
6. The Fall - The visuals are STUNNING, and the little girl is so cute.
7. Flash of Genius - Greg Kinnear is really good in this one. It's such a frustrating story...even now, thinking back, it's mildly upsetting.
8. Milk - Destined to be a classic film. Certainly one of the best of the best of the best. If you haven't seen it, go see it right now!
9. Synecdoche, New York - This film was a real mindf*ck. I love movies that challenge the way we watch movies. Thoughts of this film seep into my life everyday.
10. Role Models - I thought this film was going to suck in a "cream of the crap" kind of way, but it ended up being legitimately good. Who knew?!
11. The Wrestler - Mickey Rourke was born to play this part...well maybe he was born to be a baby, and then many many years later play this part. What brilliant gem will Darren Aronofsky throw at us next? A remake of Robocop??
12. Foot Fist Way - I thought the book was so good, that there was no way the film could deliver the goods. I was wrong.

Special Mention: Baghead - If you're a fan of the Duplass Brothers' The Puffy Chair, you should check out Baghead. I'm not certain that this film hit that many theatres, but it was a real treat to see it with the Brothers Duplass hosting a Q&A afterwards.

Top 10 Colors in 2008:
(in order to plan your wardrobe for the next 2008)
1. White - White was the new black in 2008. I can't explain it. It just happened, and suddenly I had to go out and buy bleach.
2. Black - Black was still black in 2008, just not the new black. You can't get very far without black, so it will undoubtedly remain in the top five for years to come.
3. Light Blue and Dark Blue (tie) - To paraphrase an Elton John song, "I guess they call it the blues for a reason, don't they?" The Blues Brothers tied for third place for the third straight year.
4. Green - Green struck late in '08. So late, in fact, that many people didn't see it coming.
5. Light Black - Some say grey, while others say gray. I'm talking about neither. Light black is the new grey.
6. Walnut - Sure, it's a nut, but it's also a wood grain. Walnut is strong enough to easily muscle into 2009 like it ain't no thang.
7. G-in-the-D - I know what you're thinking- "oh Hunter, glow in the dark is so 1997!" This might be true, but during a few short weeks in 2008, there was a very "retro '97" thing going on.
8. Clear - Clear may never hold the top spot like it did in the 1860s, but it remains a tough player, year after year.
9. Dark Red - What a surprise! Dark red was certainly the wildcard in 2008. I started the year literally hating dark red. It's funny to see how my opinion changed over the twelve months.

Special Mention: Yellow - Keep trying, yellow. Keep trying.

Top 10 Books I Read (or thought about reading) in 2008:
(in order)
1. Labyrinths by Jorge Luis Borges - This stories were written for the way my brain works.
2. Born Standing Up by Steve Martin - A truly revealing book by my favorite comedian of all time.
3. Comedy by the Numbers by Eric Hoffman and Gary Rudoren - This book has every joke ever written!
4. A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams - Classic.
5. A Severed Head by Iris Murdoch - Who can resist a severed head!?
6. The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins - The audio book version is read by the author in a pleasing accent.
7. Stalking the Riemann Hypothesis by Dan Rockmore - You have to love math like I do.
8. Catching the Big Fish by David Lynch - Only begins to explain the genius of David Lynch.
9. Wall and Piece by Banksy - Only begins to show off the genius of Banksy.

Special Mention: Veganomicon by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero - "It's a cookbook!"

In an attempt to keep this at a reasonable length, I've omitted my personal comments from the final two "Top 10 of 2008" lists. If you're curious why I picked some of these, feel free to come up to me on the street and ask me. You have a whole year to do this, as I will be standing in the street for exactly one year.

Top 10 Things To Put On A Sandwich (and by "on" I mean "in") in 2008:
(in order to make a sandwich, you will also need bread)
1. Tempeh Bacon
2. Avocado
3. Vegenaise
4. Tomato
5. Almond Butter
6. Marmalade (preferably orange)
7. Alfalfa Sprouts
8. Tofu Salad
9. Follow Your Heart "Cheese"
10. Tortilla Chips (preferably blue)

Special Mention: Lettuce

Top 10 Albums Released in 2008:
(order in the court!)
1. She & Him - Volume One
2. Black Kids - Partie Traumatic
3. Raphael Saadiq - The Way I See It
4. Santogold - Santogold
5. Beck - Modern Guilt
6. Duffy - Rockferry
7. The Knux - Remind Me In 3 Days...
8. Darker My Love - 2
9. Elvis Costello - Momofuku
10. Kings Of Leon - Only By The Night
11. Ra Ra Riot - The Rhumb Line
12. Dan & Hunter - Dan & Hunter's Holiday EP Volume One

Special Mention: New Kids On The Block and Vanilla Ice - For attempting comebacks, against all odds.

So there you have it. 2008 is over. It's anyone's guess what will come to replace it. Check back soon for my 2009 New Year's Resolutions blog! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Psychedelic Photos!

2008-12-19T04:50:00.000-08:00

Psychedelic Photos by Hunter Burgan

Finally, as promised, I present to you the Psychedelic Photo blog. Some of you (the less patient folks) have been awake for consecutive days, tearing your hair out, waiting for this blog. Those of you (like me) who have hair that is too short to tug at have been growing beards in feverish anticipation. Those of you who have shorn heads and no natural ability to grow facial hair have been allowing your eyes to naturally bleed transparent blood that I like to call "tears", maddened by the maddening madness that is expectation. Now it's time to pick up your hair, shave your faces, grab a kleenex, take a bunch of drugs* and get psychedelic!

The photo album above (go ahead, click on it) is a collection of photos taken by my psychedelic iPhone between May 1968 and December 2008. Back in May, my phone decided that some of the photos I take will randomly be psychedelic. I couldn't agrue because that is not a word. Some of these photos appear to be taken in the Matrix, whereas some of them appear to be taken just after an apocalyptic H-bomb detonation. Some of these picture might give you a strange and pleasant sensation in your spine, while others might give you life long nightmares that haunt your waking dreams.

I'll leave you with this food for thought whilst you peruse my psychedelic photos. As one of the forefathers of psychedelia, author Aldous Huxley, may or may not have said,

"And it seems to me perfectly in the cards that there will be within the next generation or so a pharmacological method of making people love their servitude, and producing ... a kind of painless concentration camp for entire societies, so that people will in fact have their liberties taken away from them but will rather enjoy it, because they will be distracted from any desire to rebel by propaganda, brainwashing, or brainwashing enhanced by pharmacological methods."

*Drug use is not condoned nor advised by the author, Hunter Burgan. Furthermore, drug use will not be necessary to understand or appreciate the beauty or meaning of the photos showcased in this blog. The author, Hunter Burgan, does not use drugs, but rather, prefers the use of hugs to achieve a similar (yet safer and more predictable) "high" when viewing his psychedelic photos.

Winter Sale on ALL The Force Merch!

2008-12-15T15:30:00.000-08:00

Starting right now, for one week only, get an additional 10% off ALL merchandise in The Force's online store!

I'm dead serious! Deals like this don't come around that often! And they certainly don't go looking for you! Can we talk about stocking stuffers? Do you want to see the sparkle of joy in the eyes of EVERYONE on your shopping list this year? 12 days of Christmas? 12 The Force merchandise items! (including size options) T-shirts! Sweatshirts! 12" Vinyl Discographies! Stickers! Buttons!

To paraphrase the Olsen twins,

"There will never be another band like The Force, and these t-shirts are really soft!"

I have to agree with them. The shirts are really soft, and the stickers are really sticky too. The 12" vinyl discography contains every song The Force ever recorded, and was re-mastered specifically for vinyl. Your record player will love to sink its needle into this delicious vinyl.

The Force's 10% off sale ends Sunday, December 21st at 11:59 PM, or when supplies run out, so act now! Tell 'em Chad Cox sent ya!

Dan & Hunter - MySpace videos

2008-12-11T16:22:00.000-08:00

Dan & Hunter (that's me) made figgy pudding and gingerbread men for all of you, but due to geographical limitations, we will not be able to deliver either to any of you. Instead, we shot some videos.

Dan & Hunter - The Meaning of Xmas

Dan & Hunter - Mail Bag

Dan & Hunter - A Time For Giving

Check the ol' Dan & Hunter MySpace page for more videos in the near future. We have our sights set on our site's set.

'Tis the season for crime!

2008-12-05T19:51:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I was at a Blockbuster, looking for a used copy of Saw IIto purchase, when a man entered the store in a slightly aggressive manner. I immediately thought,

"What would I do if this guy pulled out a gun? Would I duck behind the 4-for-$20 table? Would I bust a roundhouse and kick the gun from his hand? Would I scream like a man?"

I didn't really answer myself, and before I could question any further, the man walked past me and started looking at DVDs. Then my mind really started to wander, and wonder... What is the crime rate for this neighborhood? What kind of people shop at this Blockbuster? What day of the week is statistically the most likely day for a Blockbuster to get robbed?This was a Thursday. I started to really dig into the used DVDs in the back of the store. Miley Cyruswas on the TV monitors. Finally I found Saw IIand another gem, Blades of Glory.Suddenly my shopping trance was broken by the sound of pounding on the exit door across the store. Four cops were outside trying to get in. An employee unlocked the door to let them in. Wait a second...why was the exit locked!? What did the cops want? To pre-order The Dark Knight on Blu-ray?Then I overheard people saying that Blockbuster had just been robbed! Yes, dear readers, the very Blockbuster I was in had just been robbed at gunpoint by the very man that I was suspicious of in the first sentence of this story...and I missed the whole thing!

A few customers (eye witnesses) were selected and pulled aside for questioning. I decided to take my two DVDs and leave (after paying with plastic since their cash drawer was empty) the scene of the crime. More cops and a camera crew showed up as I was leaving. A rat crossed the parking lot. As I was driving home, I decided that I had subconsciously willed the man to rob Blockbuster. Sure, he had a gun with him when he entered the store, but perhaps he had no intentions of pulling it out. Peradventure he just wanted to pick up Dexter - season one, disc 2and some Sour Patch Kids...until he came into contact with the formidable powers of my mind! Later I tried to consciously will him to deliver a burrito and some vegan ice cream to my front door, but it didn't work.

If you think you, your friends and your talking dog have what it takes to solve crimes in the Los Angeles area, jump in your psychedelic van and visit: Solve a Crime - the official website of the Los Angeles police department.

A holiday blog like you may have seen before!

2008-12-05T19:07:00.000-08:00

I promised you, dear readers, among other things, a holiday blog like you've never seen before. This is not that blog. This is also not the AFI studio update blog, nor is it the psychedelic photo blog, or even the mammoth regeneration fund raising blog.

The holidays are upon us, and what better way to celebrate (or not to celebrate) than with BRAND NEW ORIGINAL HOLIDAY SONGS!
...and who better to deliver these gems to you than Dan Kelly and yours truly, now professionally known as Dan & Hunter. Dan and I have slaved away in the Torture Chamber for countless hours to craft some holiday revelry like nothing that has ever graced the ear drums of my neighborhood...and perhaps even yours. The result of our blood, sweat, tears and cookie consumption is:

Dan & Hunter's Holiday EP Volume One.

LISTEN TO IT ON MYSPACE

BUY IT FROM iTUNES

BUY IT AGAIN (as mp3s) ON AMAZON

Dan and I have immersed ourselves so deeply in holiday spirit that we just can't stop. "Stop what?" you ask? Stop ourselves from adding songs, pictures, videos, and other fun things to our myspace page. Listen friends, I understand that maybe some of you don't like the holidays because of a bad experience or perhaps you question the commercial nature of the season. That's okay. You're completely welcome to disregard this blog entirely. Click here to visit the wikipedia entry for the Apatosaurus which briefly discusses the controversy over the "Brontosaurus" classification.

Check back soon for more blogs, and to paraphrase the invincible Phil Collins,

"Have a great weekend...I'll be in the studio."

Time flies and so can you!

2008-11-24T01:19:00.000-08:00

2008 is just racing by!

Since I've being working in the studio (AFI...heard of us?) a lot lately, I've neglected good ol' Tranquil Mammoth! I apologize. To paraphrase the guy who played the dad on Silver Spoons, "Sometimes you have to go out and live life in order to have something to blog about."

Back in March, Dr. Pepper (my favorite soda ever, even though I no longer drink soda) made a bet with America that Axl wouldn't release Guns N' Roses' Chinese Democracy in the year 2008. Since the new Gn'R album dropped earlier today (November 23rd), Dr. Pepper lost that bet and has been giving away free Dr. Pepper all day. They even extended it until 6pm EST tomorrow (November 24th) due to consumer demand. Click here to get yours now!

Check out Dan Kelly and myself wearing two of Devo's personal Energy Domes. These are the ones they actually wear on stage!

Halloween was a blast, although I'll admit that I had my mind on another holiday altogether. I'll talk more about that later. I went to see my pals in Rise Against at the newly remodeled Palladium in Hollywood. This is totally old news to some, but some people like old news (I personally hate old news). Rise Against played two Devo songs during their encore dressed as "Whip It" era Devo. It was fantastic, but their fans seemed bored by it. Gerald Casale joined them on stage for "Beautiful World".

November found me at my local polling place, doing what every citizen should have been doing, talking to an old woman from my neighborhood who volunteered, and then voting. Only moments later I found myself terribly disappointed with the results of Proposition 8. What happened, California? Seriously?!? Anyhow...after that I hit the streets with Steve and Sally to protest (along with thousands and thousands of others) the blatant violation of rights. Steve originally had laser eyes, but I covered them up so my casual readers wouldn't be scared.

Eventually the green leaves on the trees turned to lovely reds and oranges, which served to remind me (with my friend Stacy's help, of course) that my pal Ed Templeton was having an art show in Culver City. You can read more about the show in his blog (which is a really great blog) here.
Here's a picture of me and Neil "Doogie" Patrick "Howser" Harris "MD" at the opening. He's over on the right by the wall. Facing the wall. I mean...at least he's in the photo, right?

I'm off now to get a few Zs (that's slang for sleep) before hitting the studio tomorrow. I have a few blogs I need to get out of my system in the next week, so check back soon for some of the following topics: an AFI studio related blog, a blog about the great Blockbuster heist, a blog to raise funds for the mammoth regeneration, a psychedelic photo (that's the only kind of picture my phone will take) blog and a holiday blog like none you have ever seen!

The Canadian Long Weekend

2008-10-21T02:22:00.000-07:00

My dear readers, I sincerely apologize for taking so long between blog entries. With the current state of the economy, I know you guys and gals get enraged very easily and need the constant distraction that Tranquil Mammoth provides. I won't let it happen again. I've had some problems with my internet service here in Mammothland (that's where Tranq lives) and decided to finally give in and upgrade to the 2400 baud modem. Isn't she a beauty?

In other news, it was a Canadian "long weekend." I had the distinct honor of playing shakers with Tegan and Sara at three of their concerts in Los Angeles, California. They are such a great band. If for some reason you don't already own all of their albums, I suggest you stop reading right now and go purchase them! My pal Matt Sharp (of weezer and Rentals fame) joined me on the tambourine. I found a shaky (no pun intended) version of it on youtube, but the audio is horrible, so don't feel obligated to click here. It reminded me of one of those family bands, or perhaps an all-star variety show from the 1970s. Anyhow, it was a really fun weekend and I'd like to say hello to all the people that I talked to at the shows. Hello!
On a side note, I literally almost had to shave Canadian Kid In The Hall, Kevin McDonald's back in front of a few hundred people on Saturday. Weird. Weird that I'm not making this up, because that seems like something I would make up (c'mon...Bea Arthur!?), but it's 100% true.

If you're like me and you haven't already figured out what you're going to be for Halloween, now is the time to get on it! We have ten days to scrape something together! If anyone has any good ideas, let me know in the comments. When you leave it up to the last minute, you end dressing like WHAM! era George Michael, or Andrew W.K..

I'm out like a trout, but before I go, I'd like to send a shout out to Freaky-B, Fuzz Fuzz, Lil' Ridiculous, Klerpy, Lo-Blud Suge, Sh'shaun Sean, Ol' Baby, Turkey Vultch, Clawsy, and Michael Bivins.

Hello! Hallo! Witaj! Hei! Hej! Hola! Здравствуйте! Yo!

2008-09-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

With the majority of 2008 behind us and Autumn suddenly upon us, I'd like to take a few moments to reflect on something that most of you probably don't even think about:

Most visits, by country/territory:
1. United States
2. Canada
3. Australia
4. United Kingdom
5. Germany
6. Poland
7. Finland
8. Sweden
9. Mexico
10. New Zealand
11. Moon
If you don't see your country/territory listed above, it just means you need to encourage your friends to read this blog more. Not every country/territory can be in the coveted top 11.

Most visits, by city:
1. (not set)
2. West Hollywood
3. Perth
4. Brisbane
5. San Francisco
6. London
I don't know where "(not set)" is, so I will assume it's on the moon. I also didn't realize I had such a concentrated readership in Western Australia. [Note to my Canadian readers: If you are a bit confused about why you're #2 on the country/territory list, yet you have no cities in the top 6, it's because you are evenly (perhaps even perfectly) distributed across 120 different cities.]

Longest average time spent per visit, by country/territory:
1. Serbia (9:33!!)
2. India
3. Portugal
4. Slovakia
5. Romania
Keep in mind, when reading this blog, that there is no rush. Explore the different pictures, videos, links and prose. Let the words seep into your soul at a natural pace. The Serbians certainly have the right idea.

Fact: Readers in Costa Rica spend an average of :06 seconds reading this blog.
Apparently Costa Ricans are fast readers!

Fact: 3.6% of Tranquil Mammoth readers use dial-up.
What's up with that!? Seriously?

Fact: No one in Alaska has ever read this blog.
...which I had actually suspected for quite some time.

Check out this pie chart:
This chart tells us that 85.63% of Tranquil Mammoth's readers live in English speaking countries/territories. This is great, because I speak English! But what about the readers in the rest of the world that do NOT live in English speaking countries/territories? Tranquil Mammoth has readers all over the world and the moon! In fact, my research tells me that you guys and girls live in places where 44 different primary languages are spoken! That's a Google Analytics-verified fact!

In order to reach more readers in non-English speaking countries/territories, I have decided that I will poorly translate parts of this blog into other languages. If you only speak English, then this will give you an opportunity to learn a new language, courtesy of Tranquil Mammoth. Let's begin.

Inte detta pumpa paj ser bra ut? Hösten är min favorit tidpunkten för år. Jag älskar att titta på bladen ändra färg på träden. Har du bor på en plats där bladen ändra färg också?

Check out this pie:
N-am mai fost în România. E frumos acolo? Am cumparat recent "The Kids in the Hall" de pe DVD-ul. Te-am iubit ca show TV crescut. Stii de spectacol Sunt referindu-se la?

Finden Sie nicht auch hasse es, wenn man auf eine Tankstelle, weil Sie dringend zu urinieren, und die Toilette Schlüssel wird an einem schmutzigen Stück Holz oder ein anderes Objekt, das Sie müssen in die Toilette? Wo werden Sie es, während Sie urinieren?

ねえ、あなたが私の馬のブログを読むのですか？している場合は、実際に私はまだ考えている"とは、 "し、今では大きなチャンスです。下にスクロール...これだけのすぐ下に1つのブログのエントリの！

O que você começa quando você atravessar uma insónias, agnóstica, e de um disléxico? Alguém que fica a noite toda me perguntando se existe um cão! -Groucho Marx ...Na verdade, eu acho piada que só funciona em Inglês. Desculpa :-/

Ik ben nieuwsgierig: Heb mijn Nederlandse lezers graag Guitar Hero of Rock Band beter? Misschien beschikt u niet spelen van videospellen. Moet ik eens Nederlandse lezers? Google Analytics suggereert dat ik er ten minste 37. Ik ben dol op het Nederlandse woord voor 'gek'.

Вы знакомы с Jeff Garlin? Я думаю, что он очень смешной. Если он когда-либо заходит на ваш район для выполнения резервных мер комедии, необходимо, чтобы вы участвуете. Я также пользуются Steve Martin огромный, но он уже не выполняет резервных мер комедии.

Check out the moon:
यह लगभग रात के भोजन का वक्त आ गया है, और मैं शाकाहारी शिकागो के लिए बाहर जा रहा हूँ शैली की गहरी पकवान pizza! यह बहुत स्वादिष्ट है! तुम मुझे ईर्ष्या.

53 6f 20 77 68 61 74 27 73 20 75 70 20 77 69 74 68 20 74 68 65 20 6d 6f 6f 6e 3f 20 45 76 65 72 79 74 68 69 6e 67 21 20 28 67 65 74 20 69 74 3f 29 20 41 6e 79 77 61 79 73 2e 2e 2e 43 6f 6e 67 72 61 74 73 20 6f 6e 20 6d 61 6b 69 6e 67 20 74 68 65 20 74 6f 70 20 31 31 21 20 59 6f 75 20 61 72 65 20 73 6f 6d 65 20 6f 66 20 6d 79 20 62 65 73 74 20 61 6e 64 20 6d 6f 73 74 20 64 65 76 6f 74 65 64 20 72 65 61 64 65 72 73 21 20 53 74 61 79 20 46 72 65 73 68 21 21 (since I'm not sure if people on the moon speak Hex, I also translated this into Binary.)

So there you have it, the first ever, semi-irregular, Tranquil Mammoth multi-lingual statistic blog. I hope you learned something. I know I sure did. Until next time, Goodbye! Auf Wiedersehen! Do widzenia! Näkemiin! Hejdå! Adiós! До свидания!

Horse Blog Vol. 1

2008-09-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

After much (possibly too much) anticipation and hype, I now present to you Vol. 1 of my horse blog. Before we begin this horse adventure, I would like to share with you something that French Surrealist, André Breton once said,

"The man who can't visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot."

They say you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I think that's assuming a lot! First off, can we really assume the horse's gender without checking? I, for one, do not wish to be the person in charge of checking. Do you know what the statistics for non-fatal horse related injuries in the US are? I didn't either until I read this. So for the sake of this blog, let's just call the horse an "it."

They say you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I think that's still assuming a lot! I mean...can you? Can you lead a horse to water? Can you lead a horse at all? Can you even find a horse? I don't know about you, but where I live there aren't horses just hanging around waiting to be lead around. This saying must date back to a time when horses were just hanging around every corner. So, in order to rule out some of these variables and make this easier, let's just assume that you are lucky enough to find a horse who is already near water.

They say you can't make a horse drink. I believe it. That horse is spoiled. You could probably buy that horse some candy and flowers or maybe take it on a date to a really nice Italian restaurant and a jazz club afterwards or even fly that horse to Horse Island for a weekend getaway AND STILL the horse probably wouldn't drink, which brings me to the next question.

Why are you trying to get this horse to drink? Surely you aren't trying to take advantage of a horse that's been drinking, right? I'm sure the last thing you need right now, dear readers, is some type of legal mess that involves an under-aged horse. A jury is not going to be very sympathetic, especially after the cops find the dead horse's body in your trunk! I know what you're thinking, "But Hunter, what was I supposed to do with the body!?!"
There's no use in beating a dead horse. I'll agree with that one. Unless, well... Unless you're under the impression that you can beat a dead horse back to life. I looked online for the definitive site for horse CPR, but all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

"Hold your horses, Hunter!" you might be thinking right now, "Where are you going with all of this?" Well, dear readers, that's a very good question. Winston Churchill once said, "There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man." That makes me wonder what he thought of the inside of a horse. Churchill was smart enough to know that the inside of a horse is often filled with Greek soldiers. At least that's how it was back in the day.

If you lead a horse to water and it decides to drink, then what? If you are clever enough to convince the horse of its thirst, then my work is done here. The student has become the master. Good for you!
This draws us to the conclusion of the horse blog Vol. 1. Until the next volume, I will leave you with this quote from comedy pioneer, Stan Laurel.

"You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead."

It feels like Christmas! (in more ways than one)

2008-09-15T15:20:00.000-07:00

Before I post my epic horse blog, I just wanted to share some of the banners people have made for The Force's online store.

Sam made these:

Hazel made this:

and Klerpy turned in this gem:

One for the history books (or history blogs)

2008-09-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

So...
The Force reunion mini-tour was a success! We kicked the whole thing off with a secret show in Sacramento in a coffee shop. The coffee was good. Next stop was our home turf in Nevada City. It was crazy seeing so many familiar faces at the shows. There were people there I hadn't seen since high school! The opening band was called Young Voices. Everyone should check them out. They reminded me of an old Dischord band. The next night we played at 924 Gilman St. which is where we played our very second show ever, back in 1995. A bunch of friends, old and new came out to this one as well. I know what you're thinking, and yes, my AFI bandmates came out to watch. The final night of our mini-tour was in Anaheim. We actually played at Chain Reaction when it used to be called Public Storage. That was the nineties. Our pal Carlton Beener took some photos like the one above. Click here to check out more photos from all the shows. Mad props (does anyone still say that?) to the crew from Pittsburgh who came out for all the shows. Like I said before, the shows were a success, but not just because we pulled it off (Chad hadn't played drums in over 6 years) or because we blew everyone's minds (which we certainly did) but because we were able to recreate the feeling of being ten years younger and playing crazy music with your friends. I don't mean to get overly sentimental, but for me the real success was reuniting old friends.

Now that The Force shows are over, we put all the leftover merchandise in our online store. Now people from all over the world that weren't able to attend the shows can pretend like they were there. I made this banner for the store. Maybe somebody would like to make a better one?? If that somebody is you, let me know. Thanks.
In the store, we have a few shirt designs, a sweatshirt, buttons, stickers, AND the 12" vinyl gatefold "Complete Discography" too! Everything is in limited quantities and only available while supplies last. Once this stuff is gone, it's gone for good. The Force - Complete Discography is and will always be available on iTunes for everyone out there who likes mp3s instead of LPs.

I've been trying to keep track of the interviews I've done recently. Below is an interview I did for Mishmash.

In horse blog news, I will attempt to release the horse blog this weekend. I don't want it to be compared to the AFI EP or my vegan blog that never happened.

Be true to your school.

Back to School

2008-09-02T18:40:00.000-07:00

Hello readers!
I have about 30 days worth of catching up to do.
I will "blog" for real later, I promise.
In the mean time, watch these:

The Force is a horse, of course, of course...

2008-08-23T01:36:00.000-07:00

Sorry, no horses just yet. However, The Force - Complete Discography is now totally available on iTunes. This is the future, people! Start acting futuristic and download all 21 songs for only $9.99 (USD, which is cheap no matter where you're from!) That's less money than some people spend on a fake mustache!

...and while you're clicking and buying, don't forget that tickets are still available for The Force's 10 year reunion shows. Simply CLICK HERE and follow the easy-to-follow instructions.

Listen, I'm no salesman. I'm just a regular guy trying to let you all in on a great opportunity. Don't pass these deals up!

Buzznet interviews Hunter and Dan!

2008-08-14T16:26:00.000-07:00

This is part one of a three part interview Dan and I did last June with DJ Rossstar. We talked mostly about Hunter Revenge, but also covered AFI, my side project with Tegan, Chocolate Nailgun (the best band on earth and the moon), Little Seizures, and on and on... I'm not going to sit here and tell you about it...you should just watch!
PART 2
PART 3
These are not in any particular order.

Okay...I've gotta run to practice with The Force at a top secret location.
Next time, the fabled horse blog...Bye!

I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

2008-08-12T17:16:00.000-07:00

I've spent a long time writing what will probably be the greatest blog entry ever written (at least the greatest entry about horses,) but while taking my time to make it the greatest, I have neglected a bunch of important things. So the horse blog will have to wait! I know you're crying right now, and that's okay. I understand. The horse blog will be done soon. In the meantime, here's a lightning speed update:

Hunter Revenge is playing the Warped Tour this Sunday, August 17, 2008 at the Home Depot Center parking lot in Carson, CA (near LA) Our set time is unknown, but if you follow me on Twitter, I will let everyone know as soon as I know.

The Force is getting ready for the reunion shows. We have been practicing like mad and it's sounding very tough. I feel ten years younger, or at least ten years less old. Tickets are still on sale for these shows, and it would be awesome to see all my friends, fans, acquaintances, and foes there. Foes make for a good pit. We will have all new merch and also the limited edition vinyl "Complete Discography" that all your friends want to buy. Go to The Force's website for tickets. I also recently added this 1997 performance of "Goodnight" to my youtube channel:

AFI is still working on our next record, so don't worry. Just because we haven't played a show or released that EP does NOT mean that we broke up. Some people worry too much. You guys are going to love our new songs. I don't want to get ahead of myself here, but I think we're real contenders for a Daytime Emmy award. Seacrest can kiss my grits!

OK! I'm off to drink coffee and work on my horse blog some more. Hey...has anyone seen any good movies lately?

THE FORCE REUNITES

2008-07-04T15:08:00.001-07:00

Hello all...

The Force, my band before I joined AFI, is reuniting for the first time in 10 years to play three special shows. This will be the first time I've stepped onto the stage with Matt Wedgley (Viva Hate), Mark Roustabout (The Roustabouts) and Chad Cox since we broke up in 1998, and I'm really excited! We hope these shows will give our fans (as well as those who missed The Force the first time around) a chance to see hardcore like we played it 10 years ago.

To listen, go check out (and add) The Force's myspace: www.myspace.com/theforcerip I'm not asking you to...I'm telling you to.

Like I said, The Force will only be playing three shows. The first show will be in our hometown of Grass Valley, CA followed by two more California shows. My apologies to everyone outside of California. I wish we could play everywhere, but we have to limit it to the following shows:

August 29, 2008 - Miner's Foundry in Nevada City (Grass Valley), CA
August 30, 2008 - 924 Gilman St. in Berkeley, CA
August 31, 2008 - Chain Reaction in Anaheim, CA

Tickets on sale here: www.theforcerip.com

Also, we will be releasing a complete discography, containing every song The Force ever recorded. The limited edition, 21-song double-LP will be sold at the shows as well as online while supplies last.

Join our mailing list at www.theforcerip.com to receive personal updates from me about the shows, the discography and a few other surprises!

I hope to see everyone there!

Stay fresh,
Hunter

Update! Hunter interviewed by Bea Arthur!

2008-06-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

Since everyone loves an update, I thought I'd post this interview I found online yesterday. The funny thing is, I don't remember doing this interview. Oh well...Enjoy!

Hunter Burgan: Before we get started, I just have to tell you that I recently watched some episodes of Maude on DVD...and you are hilarious! I love it more than Golden Girls!

Bea Arthur*: Thank you. So what's new, Hunter? What have you been up to?

Hunter: Well, Bea, I've been pretty busy. AFI has been working non-stop on new songs, Hunter Revenge is playing the Pomona Warped Tour on Friday, I bought new curtains, Dan Kelly and I just finished mixing a record for our friends' band, I've been drinking lots of coffee, I have a new shoe coming out soonish and well...I've also been planning some secret stuff.

Bea: Secret Stuff? Well you'll have to tell me about that later, but first...tell me, what do the new AFI songs sound like?

Hunter: They're great. We have a bunch of really catchy songs that I think you're going to love...even with your finicky taste, Bea.

Bea: Well you know I'm partial to the Stones and Zeppelin.

Hunter: And I'm confident that you'll find a place in your heart for our new stuff as well.

Bea: We'll see about that.

Hunter: Yeah we will.

Bea: Moving on... Tell me about Hunter Revenge's show this Friday.

Hunter: It's Warped Tour, in Pomona, and I'm playing the Kevin Says Stage which is a smaller, more intimate stage.

Bea: So the audience will be closer to you.

Hunter: Exactly! Hunter Revenge is not about barricades and boundaries. It's about intimacy and relationships...the relationship between the band and the audience.

Bea: Speaking of your band...who do you have playing with you this time?

Hunter: Dan Kelly, as always, will be playing keyboards. Ian Fowles from The Aquabats will be playing bass, and Ryan Seaman will return to the drums for his first appearance with me since 2005. It's going to be a lot of fun.

Bea: Just out of curiosity, will you be selling shirts or records?

Hunter: Just shirts and CDs.

Bea: Well that sounds like a blast. I'll try to make it out there. Where can I get tickets?

Hunter: You can buy tickets by clicking here.

Bea: Did you just insert a link?

Hunter: Yeah.

Bea: Cool. Now let's talk about these curtains. What do you look for in a curtain?

Hunter: For me, a curtain needs to be tall, dark and thick.

Bea: You're a man of my taste.

Hunter: Bea! I'm talking about curtains, not-

Bea: So am I.

Hunter: You dirty bird!

Bea: Moving along... What band did you and Dan Kelly mix?

Hunter: They're called Artichoke Heart Soufflé. They write fun songs...the whole project was fun. Have you heard of them?

Bea: Yeah, well no, but I was just looking at their website. Cute drawings. So what else is going on...oh yes...coffee?

Hunter: Yeah. I love the dark roast. "Dark and crisp" as Jarrod Alexander would say.

Bea: Mmmm that sounds good right now. So when is your new shoe coming out?

Hunter: It comes out in the Spring '09 collection, which comes out well before Spring the season.

Bea: Yeah that always confuses me. Why are the seasons for fashion out of sync with the real seasons?

Hunter: No one will ever know.

Bea: And I'm going to assume that this is another collaboration with Macbeth?

Hunter: Yes you are, Bea, and it will be a correct assumption.

Bea: Ok Hunter, I need to wrap this up. Before we go, can you tell me anything about the "secret stuff" you're planning?

Hunter: Not if I want to maintain the secrecy. However, I will tell you that both Matt Wedgley and I have put a lot of time into this so far.

Bea: I have an idea of what you might be talking about, but I won't say anything. If it's what I think it is, then it's going to be AMAZING!

Hunter: Thanks...it will be!

Bea: When will you let everyone in on your secret?

Hunter: In a couple of weeks...just keep your eyes and ears open.

Bea: I'll be sure to. Thank you for the interview Hunter.

Hunter: Thanks, Bea.

*may not be the real Bea Arthur, so just to avoid any libel suits, let's just say that this isn't the real Bea Arthur.

Hunter Revenge on iTunes!!!

2008-05-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

That's right, friends... "Hunter Revenge" by Hunter Revenge is now available on iTunes for your downloading pleasure. Notice the competitive price when you buy the entire album! (only $7.92!) Check it out in your iTunes store today! If you already own a copy of these songs, feel free to write a review. Let the world know that you love Hunter Revenge more than any other band that you can think of right now.

-Hunter

P.S. Tomorrow is my birthday.
P.P.S. For those of you who are sans iPod or hate iTunes or live in a remote part of the world where you can only use Lala, here are other fine online music stores where you can download Hunter Revenge: Rhapsody, Napster, eMusic, GroupieTunes, Amazon MP3 and of course, Lala.

Questions for myself

2008-03-25T14:25:00.000-07:00

Q:

1. Why I am I wearing a fake beard and glasses right now?

2. Why are my legs incredibly sore?

3. Why did take me 5 years to edit the Hunter Revenge - "Do U Want 2 Know?" video?

4. Why does the dark purple passion fruit have traces of cyanide in its skin?

5. If diamonds are a girl's best friend, and dogs are man's best friend, is David Bowies' 1974 release, Diamond Dogs, an attempt to appeal to both men and girls?

A (for me, from myself):

1. I must be trying on a costume for something I'm filming next week. That's the only sense I can make of it.

2. It must be delayed onset muscle soreness. I went hiking on Sunday.

3. Three of those years I didn't have the footage, and the other two years were before the three. Did that make sense? It did to me.

4. Mother nature is telling us to die.

5. Yes. David recognized that men and girls need more opportunities to bond over common interests.

Do you remember The Force?

2008-03-18T13:33:00.000-07:00

No? Well I certainly do!

Wedge (Matt Wedgley) and I have been talking about The Force a lot lately. Did you know that it's been almost 10 years since we played our last show? Wedge and I also just found a bunch of The Force stuff and we want YOU to have it, so we put a store of sorts on The Force's Official MySpace Page.

Go check it out and learn about The Force.

Blogs, blogs and more blogs!

2008-03-06T19:36:00.000-08:00

What is the fascination with blogs?
Somehow I found myself with more blogs than I can hold in one hand (assuming that it takes an average of one finger to hold a blog.) As long as I can figure out what to write in each blog, I'll be just fine. Perhaps I will only ever need to write about my other blogs. Anyhow, the blog in particular that I'm blogging about right now is on the new Macbeth website, which looks fucking amazing, in my humble opinion. Since Tranquil Mammoth is supposed to be my end-all-be-all blog, it would be inconsiderate to leave you without a sample of what's going on in the Macbeth blog (since some of you probably are unable to click over there and see for yourselves.) So, here you go:

Blog.

Hello 2008!

2008-01-28T17:11:00.000-08:00

I always like to be sure that something is definite before I go blabbing around town about it (see vegan blog,) so it gives me great pleasure and relief to be able to confirm the new year, 2008! It is definitely 2008, and oh what a year it has been! How about that rain, eh?

In AFI world, we're writing a new album that will be out when it's done, so don't hold your breath. It won't be out in the next fifteen minutes, and even David Blaine can't hold his breath that long.

So what is everyone up to this year? Make any resolutions that you already broke? This year I resolve to drink some coffee right now.

Until next time, check out this thing I found on youtube.

Stay Fresh™,
Hunter

P.S. If you haven't seen the "Sensual Seduction" video by Snoop Dogg yet, you suck.

Shoe Odyssey: A Look Inside Macbeth - Episode 3

2007-10-24T16:22:00.000-07:00

EPISODE THREE! Shoe Odyssey: A Look Inside Macbeth

Watch the full documentary exclusively on www.MacbethFootwear.com!

Shoe Odyssey: A Look Inside Macbeth - Episode 2

2007-10-16T02:22:00.000-07:00

EPISODE TWO! Shoe Odyssey: A Look Inside Macbeth

Watch the full documentary exclusively on www.MacbethFootwear.com!

WIN FREE STUFF:

DOWNLOAD "SHOE ODYSSEY" RINGTONES, WALLPAPERS, BUDDY ICONS, AND MORE!

Bruce Lee interviews Hunter Burgan from AFI

2007-10-13T18:22:00.000-07:00

I just found this interview on some obscure Italian music television station's website. Bruce Lee interviewed me in February 2007. He was shorter than I thought he would be.

Stay Fresh

Launch of "Shoe Odyssey" Film Series & Contest

2007-10-05T16:44:00.000-07:00

EPISODE ONE! Shoe Odyssey: A Look Inside Macbeth

Macbeth Footwear Presents: "Shoe Odyssey: A Look Inside Macbeth"

"Shoe Odyssey: A Look Inside Macbeth" - Macbeth Footwear's documentary on Foot Science and Awareness - launches today on www.MacbethFootwear.com. The documentary has been split into three parts which will be viewable on Myspace, YouTube, Facebook, and several other sites, while the full-length version will be viewable exclusively on the Macbeth Footwear website.

The film was written by Hunter Burgan (AFI, General Foot Awareness Expert) and Dan Kelly (Head of Security for Macbeth).

Burgan pulled double-duty writing all of the music for the film, as well as hosting the three-part series. A graduate of the School of Life, Hunter takes his inspiration from arboretums, PBS, Mensa meetings, scuba diving, yoga and sunsets.

Kelly is inspired by Bruce Lee, cotton candy, The Alliance of Guardian Angels, rock carving, and General Patton - although he found the movie about Patton to be a little weak.

Foot Science and Awareness is a little-known branch in the footwear industry that has only recently made its way into mainstream science. Currently, Burgan and Kelly are the only two people in the world focusing on this research.

We invite you to follow this three-part series over the next few weeks, as we explore the origins of Macbeth Footwear, and its place in the history of the world.

Greetings, Earth-babies...

2007-09-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

Hunter Revenge - "Who's Gonna Love U Now?"

The new video for the semi-new song by Hunter Revenge is now available to the public! It's the first of a few video projects I am working on right now. As you may have already heard, Hunter Revenge's record label approved a budget of $1.00 for this video, so my dreams of shooting on 35mm were just not going to come true. Instead, I bought a Snoop Doggy Dogg postcard and used my digital camera. I was also going to get Stevie Wonder to make an appearance, but he never returned my calls.

Enjoy my video, and feel free to create video responses and post them on youtube. Parody is the new black.

Stay Fresh,
Hunter

P.S. Props to Bea Arthur for being the OG queen of HTML.

Hunter and The Con(an)

2007-07-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

As many people already know, I have been making surprise appearances at Tegan & Sara shows to play the shaker on "Back In Your Head." As a result, I've become rather famous in the shaker community. I'm kind of like a living legend now. People stop me on the street and ask me to shake my stuff, a request I generally oblige. Then they pay me. It's normal. Now, if any of you happen to be shakists or run in shaker circles, then you certainly know that the pinnacle of a shakist's career is to appear on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien". Well, Mr. O'Brien, who is a huge fan of the shaker, had his people contact my people, who then contacted me to ask if I would like to be on his show. I said yes on one condition, that Tegan & Sara be allowed to perform as well. I mustn't forget that they were the ones who helped launch me into my new career. So what I'm really getting at is...I will be performing with Tegan & Sara on Late Night with Conan O'Brien on Tuesday, July 31st. Check local listings for time.
and as always, Stay Fresh™.

Reserved Parking

2007-06-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Yuba River

2007-06-01T23:11:00.000-07:00

So many babies...

2007-05-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

As promised, I threw a new song, "Who's Gonna Love U Now?" up on the Hunter Revenge myspace page.

This is first Hunter Revenge song released in 6 years! I hope everyone enjoys it. So many babies were not even born yet 6 years ago!

Listen to it and weep!

Then later on, just weep without listening to it.

I would have posted this much earlier in the day, but it has been one of those "everything that could go wrong" days. The Killers are playing their encore here at V-fest in Vancouver, BC, and I am enjoying some chick pea curry while I blog in the cool night air. Thank you to "Kristin" for the birthday present...I will learn how to read just so I can read the book. That is all for now. I think I will post another video soon...if my computer cooperates.

Stay Fresh,
Hunter

P.S. I want to send a special thanks to my good friend Dan Kelly for helping me with the creation and maxing out of "Who's Gonna Love U Now?" as well as the many other Hunter Revenge songs over the years.

Greetings From the Rancho La Brea Tar Pits

2007-05-19T00:34:00.000-07:00

Secrets Revealed!

2007-05-14T13:26:00.000-07:00

...and now the moment you've all been waiting for, the new song title!

"Who's Gonna Love U Now?" by Hunter Revenge

Visit the Hunter Revenge MySpace page in seven days to hear it!!

I'm off to go eat so many vegan birthday cakes now!
love,
Hunter

Don't call it a comeback!

2007-05-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

I have a dozen new Hunter Revenge songs ready to rock. Are you ready to rock?

If the answer is yes, then on Monday, May 21, 2007, I will post one of these songs on the Hunter Revenge myspace.

To get everyone excited (or maybe just me), I will release the name of the new song on my birthday, May 14, 2007.

Watch me bash this beat like a skull...

Death By Stereo video

2007-05-06T16:37:00.000-07:00

Last month I was hanging out with Dan Kelly in downtown LA when I ran into Efrem from Death By Stereo. He was on his way to a video shoot, but needed a ride. I gave him that ride, and he in turn invited me to take part in the video.
Here's a few more pictures from the set.

DBS video shoot

It's gotta be the shoes...

2007-05-05T07:44:00.000-07:00

Through a partnership with Macbeth, I have created the first of many shoes.

You can buy them here.
I've been getting a lot of great feedback from people about these shoes. I'd like to point out a few things about them. For starters, they are 100% vegan. They are made mainly out of a fake leather material. The smallest size available right now is a men's 5, but I'm trying to get smaller sizes made. Yes, there is a heart on the side. For all the "men" out there that dislike the shoe because of this fact, pay attention: It's a BLACK heart. Black as in tuff. Black as in dark and evil. Black as in black-is-the-new-black. Get into it, bro.

I also recently wrote and filmed several things for Macbeth, the first of which will soon be taking the internet by storm...stay tuned for that.

Stay Fresh!

Like father, like son...

2007-05-04T21:20:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered that my dad, Ken Burgan, the man who taught me how to rock, has a music myspace.
He has four songs up from his fourth record, Real Reality. You should check it out if you're interested. If you like what you hear, drop the man a little message telling him so. He will enjoy hearing what you have to say.

Another blog to blog about.

2007-05-03T13:10:00.000-07:00

myveganadventures.com - Soon I will be jotting down some of my thoughts and experiences along with some of my friends in a blog format. We will be writing about anything and everything vegan. The site isn't up yet, so don't freak out. Just bookmark it.

Hunter and The Con

2007-05-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

You can hear me playing bass on the upcoming Tegan and Sara record, The Con, which will be released this summer. In January, I took a trip up to Portland, OR to record with the twins. Death Cabbie, Chris Walla, produced the record. He was fun to work with and the whole atmosphere was a very fun and creative one. Fellow DCFC member, Jason McGerr, played drums on the record. He's a great drummer and we definitely laid down some cool rhythms together.

IMPORTANT - make note of this for later: There are several musical projects and collaborations I've been working on over the past few years, but one these will soon be coming to fruition. This project is with the lovely and talented Tegan, of Tegan and Sara fame. I am really really really excited about this one. More information to come.

Also...know it sounds like me, but the song in that porno is actually credited to Jesus Sisters, some boy band or something.

ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ!

2007-05-01T13:04:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Tranquil Mammoth, the official Hunter Burgan blog...written by me, the real Hunter Burgan!
Just in case there's any question about the authenticity of that last statement, I've included this picture of me working on my damn blog:

I decided I needed a place where I could talk about what's going on in the multiple arenas of my life. AFI stuff, Hunter Revenge stuff, Macbeth, BADBRIX, The Force, The Frisk, BTR, films, getting weird, Mike Jacoby, food, anything! So here it is...TRANQUIL MAMMOTH! Check back often!

Stay Fresh,
Hunter